The Happy Little Hippie

I know I tend to say this a lot, but it's been overwhelming the last year or so. I know I've been gone and I hate that I haven't kept this updated. I like using it to look back on my growth as a person. I feel as if I've grown a lot over the past year. I decided to focus on myself and my own mental wellbeing. I read a book focusing on spirituality through the lense of being a Dudeist Priest, and I found it surprisingly helpful. I've been keeping my mind and emotions flexible while navigating the chaos of my life. I've also done my share of certain substances to do some inner soul searching. Between emotionally purging and centering myself with some form of spirituality I feel more calm and prepared for life. I'm not anxiety-free by any means, but I feel generally happier and more satisfied with my life. My life isn't perfect and it never will be, but that's part of life as well. There are lessons to be learned from mistakes or complications that come your way. Of course it's an inconvenience but there is always something positive to see in a situation, you just have to be mindful and look to find it sometimes. And speaking of complications, I've had plenty of those since we've last spoken.

I found out I failed my comprehensive exam for my Masters Degree. I have a couple choices as to my next move, but I'm not sure of my direction yet. I am supposed to be meeting with a certain program director but it's been a while since I've reached out and I haven't heard anything back. I don't want to be annoying, but I do need to speak to her. This is a dilemma to be certain.

Another part of my busy life has been my back injury. I've hit a plateau with my progress in physical therapy and I'm at the end of the road with conservative treatment. We're now on the path of spinal surgery, which I am not happy about. I feel too young for such an invasive surgery but getting it done young proves better outcomes and healing processes.

And speaking of healing, I'll touch on the last topic for this update. I've been sick on and off for the last year and have gotten many many tests done. I have finally been diagnosed as having an autoimmune disorder. My specific condition is progressive and will get worse with time. While it isn't fatal, it'll still greatly impact my life when the time comes. Until then I have to stay monitored with blood work and other tests to track when I start to decline. It's weird to know that one day my body won't be as it is now. I'm not sure if I'm "scared", but I'm also not sure what other word(s) to use.

As a positive end to things I want to mention the trip I just went on not long ago to visit some friends. I flew over 6,000 miles on 5 flights across the country to visit friends and see new places. I had the time of my life and couldn't have asked for a better experience. My heart felt fuller than it had been in a very long time. All you need in life are a few good friends. As a side note, I got to see the Pacific Ocean and it was wonderful.

I'm keeping things relatively brief with this update. I know it's been a while. I want to keep things maintained and updated on here but it's hard when life when crazy. Then I feel like I need to hype myself up to write again because it's been so long. This post may seem a smidge random and/or rambly but it is what it is. Below is some music that has been on repeat for me the last year or so. They all make me feel things and I want to share that with you all. Put on some headphones and dial in, bucko.

Brand New

High You Are

LONG DISTANCE

Gay for God

Black Magic

Swimming Lessons

Your Love

Mile High

Suga Suga

Jericho

Anoana

Second Coming

Carti

Verbatim

Good Life

"We have to try to treat the world...as a complicated case, but one that we can enjoy nonetheless, if we keep our minds flexible enough. In the end it may not be a problem to solve, but a story to enjoy."