All Drugged Up

After a day of suffering, and a night of excruciating pain, I needed to see a doctor. My dad took today off work and called an orthopedic doctor. I was able to somehow magically get a last minute appointment. I was nervous all day. I didn't know what to expect. We were in the waiting room for a while then I went in. After a couple xrays, the doctor spoke to me. I had apparently strained my neck pretty bad. He gave me a few prescriptions. I'm currently on Oxycodone, Litocaine patches, steroids, and Valium. After taking an oxy for the pain, I see why people get addicted to it. It makes you feel happy, out of pain, and borderline drunk. However, I'm happy. I can actually lay down without being in pain. I have to continue the medications until Tuesday (4 days). On Tuesday, I'm doing a followup appointment to see if I need physical therapy for it. I'm so fucking fragile.
I had to call Jeff too. I can't work. I'll see what the doctor says on Tuesday, but until then, I'm out of commission. He was understanding and asked if I was OK. I was afraid he would be mad. So until further notice, I can't work. I have to bum around my house all drugged up. Bambi is coming over tomorrow. He's going to keep me company while I stay around the house. Hopefully it'll be fun. I don't want to be in pain. I also don't want to get all loopy on oxy. Ugh. Fucking neck. Oh well. Let's hope my neck stops being a bitch.

Limits

I've been having bad migraines for the last few days. I cant look at bright lights and hear loud sounds. My neck has also been hurting but I thought I just slept on it funny. Last night it got worse. I sat in the dark for hours because I couldn't be in a light room. When I tried to sleep, my neck kept hurting. I slept a bit but woke up around 6:30am. I couldn't get comfortable. Even turning over in bed became difficult for me. Around 8am I tried to get up from bed. I couldn't. It felt like someone was jabbing a knife into my neck when I would try to sit up. I struggled for 20mins. Eventually I just had to suck it up. I sat up and cried from the pain. What is wrong with me? This is not normal. My neck was throbbing then I heard my mom come down the stairs from her room. I thanked god she was home. I told her I wanted to go to a doctor. She checked it out herself and asked me questions. She said I have Sciatica. Since I've been working several long shifts lately, my body isn't happy. For some reason, something is pressing against the nerve. My mom said to walk around a bit and try heating pads. I've never felt this kind of pain. I can't lay down. I can't swallow without wincing. I can't look left and right. I can't enjoy my days off work. Why does this have to happen to me?

Left Out. Again.

Today was my day off. I slept till around 9:30am then got out of bed. I heard the TV on downstairs. Erik was home. Why? It was raining. So I had to watch Erik and deal with him screaming at a video game screen. Great. I just drowned him out with anime. I finished an anime and cried. It brought back thoughts of how I graduated from high school. It made me sad.
I watched more anime and my mom came home. She said Bambi's mom sent her a text asking if I could go with them on a weekend trip to PA. Bambi had mentioned it to me a few days ago and said it was in a couple weeks. Bambi's mom said it was this weekend coming up. My mom said I could go. Sounds perfect, right? Nope. Bambi didn't tell me ahead of time so I didn't ask my boss for the weekend off. I'm working Saturday and Sunday 6-1. I can't go on the trip because Bambi didn't give me dates. He said it was in a few weeks. So I could have gone. My parents both said yes. However, I'm working. I would try to ask for the days off but I can't. Billy left already, Joey is leaving in a few days, and Jena isnt back yet. It's just me and Ray as the day workers. I can't leave Jeff more understaffed than he already is. I can't go on vacation with Bambi and his family because of Bambi. He didn't give me advanced noticed. I feel left out. Everyone is enjoying their summer but me. I'm alone. Working. Watching my brother. Being lonely.

Bye Bye Billy Bagels

Today was Billy's last day at the bagel shop. I enjoyed the last work day with him and tried to smile. I got 3 missed calls last night at 1:30am from Kyle. It scared me. There was a voicemail from his friend telling me to call him. I thought that something happened to Kyle. I didn't have a chance to call him until around 11:30am when things at work slowed down from the morning rush. I was worried all day about what was going on. I called him and it turns out Kyle was only drunk last night. I was so worried. I guess I'm kinda protective of him. Anyway, after I called Kyle, I got back to work. We all hung out and talked. It was me, Billy, Joe and Paulie. Bambi showed up at the end of my shift and it was time to leave. I said goodbye to everyone and hugged Billy. He wished me luck in college and I told him to come back and visit sometime. I somewhat doubt I'll ever hear from Billy Bagels again. He's just another friend I've lost in the process of life.
After work, Bambi and I rushed to my house and I changed into a coral sun dress for the wedding picnic. It was casual so I decided on a flowy knee-length dress with gladiator sandals. I got dressed (quickly) and rushed out the door. We were stuck in traffic for at least an hour before we got to the park where the party was held. Bambi and I got food when we got there (we were both starving). We found a nice picnic bench away from the crowd. We ate and laughed and talked. My brother soon joined us and kinda cock-blocked. Oh well. My brother and Bambi played catch. It made me smile. Bambi would make a good father some day. We continued to eat and drink and laugh. I talked to the groom for a bit and Bambi socialized. We moved onto the swings. He pushed me and gave me a cute smile. I love him so much. Before we knew it, it was time to leave. On the way home, we stopped at a diner. My parents (mainly my mom) shared some embarrassing childhood stories of me with Bambi. Ugh. Parents. So after dinner, we dropped Bambi off and headed home. After such a long day, I'm exhausted. It's been both mentally and physically draining. Oh well. Such is life.

Can I Please Sit Down for a Moment?

Today I got to sleep in. It was nice. I started my morning with anime. What a great way to begin the day. Work went well. It was my last time closing with Billy. Tomorrow is his last day, then he moves to Florida on Thursday. I'll really miss him. The way he jokes around and makes light of every situation. He's always singing or dancing or doing something silly. For a couple customers today, he used a bad British accent. It made me almost laugh in a customer's face. I really will miss him. Tomorrow I get to work with him for a few more hours, then I won't see him unless he visits NY. No more Billy Bagels.
After work tomorrow, Bambi is meeting me then I'm going home to change. We have a wedding reception to attend. My family is going and I'm taking Bambi as my date. It's in the park so I'm going to wear a coral sundress with cute sandals. I just hope I have enough energy to keep myself going. Waking up at 5:30, working 7hrs, rushing home to change and powder my nose, then going to a party till 6pm......quite a busy day ahead of me..yet...I'm not asleep

It's Official!

I worked early today. Bob and I were alone for 4hrs until Billy came. It's official. Bob likes me. He uses please and thank you. He helps me with customers and gives me advice. He makes jokes and seems to tolerate me. This is awesome. To be honest, I feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. Now I don't have to dread the early shifts as much.
After work, I came home and melted my brain with anime. About 6hrs of it. I'm halfway through the anime, and I'm obsessed. I love relaxing with anime. It's how I wind down. Now I'm about to pass out. I'm exhausted and didn't sleep much last night (maybe 4hrs). I get to sleep in till 9:30 tomorrow. Thank goodness. Now excuse me while I make sweet dream love to my bed....

Enjoyable Days

I tried posting this yesterday, but it didn't go through. Let's try again.
Yesterday, I was supposed to hang out with Kristen (a childhood friend of mine) and M (Leo's ex). Kristen canceled on us that morning. M asked me if I still wanted to go with her to lunch. I had never been alone with M for a long period of time before. It may also be awkward since she was Leo's ex. I thought about it for a second, then said yes. I headed out to the mall and met M for sushi. We talked and laughed and enjoyed each other's company. The conversation never stopped. After lunch, we went to a DSW shoe store. I had never been there before so she wanted to show me all the expensive shoes. We went to the store and looked at accessories. We mocked the crazy prices and tried on different hats and belts. We moved onto the shoe section. We both tried on 6in heels with platform soles. We waddled in the shoes and laughed. We criticized the prices and designs. I needed a new bag, so we moved onto the bags. Once again, outrageous prices. Time flew by as M and I hung out. I ended up buying a belt then rushed home. I loved hanging out with M. It was fun. Now the question remains: should I tell Leo I hung out with his ex..and liked it?

Now, today's post!
So, Bambi came over today. I told him yestgerday that I wasn't inviting him over to have sex. I just wanted to hang out. He came over around 11:30 and I made him ramen. We ate and talked. Then, we watched The Purge (a movie I've been wanting to see for a while). Toward the end, he got a little frisky. After the movie ended, we moved upstairs. We made out and I ended up naked. I didn't intend for this to happen, but it did. After all, we are horny teenagers. He went down on me and I went down on him. We had fun. I was exhausted and he rubbed my back. I was still naked and he told me to go onto my stomach. He used lotion and gave me a massage. It was amazing. It was so intimate and romantic. We got horny again and decided to have sex. It hurt. But I promised him I wouldn't give up like last time. I endured it and the pain went away after a while. He came and then collapsed onto my bed next to me. We were both a sweaty mess. I offered a shower and he agreed. I gave him a frog shower cap and he looked adorable. We showered together and talked. Nothing sexual. We each dried off and got dressed. He left about 20mins later. It really was the perfect day with the perfect guy.
Tomorrow I'm working 6-12. Ugh. A great day followed by a stressful day. Oh well. Today was great. Hopefully my happiness and tranquility from today will be carried into tomorrow. God willing.