Olive Branch?

School was more or less boring, so I'll cut to the chase. I saw Leo. I met up with Bambi, Kyle, and Antonio. Bambi and I went for dinner, and then met up with everyone else before the show. There were Chinese lanterns hanging from the ceiling to celebrate the Chinese New Year. We walked to where the show was being held and that's when I saw him. He was talking to someone and I blushed. Hard. I looked away and continued my conversation with Bambi. We found Kyle and got our seats. Leo was sitting in the same row as us. He looked good. More than good. I looked at him every chance I got. The play soon started, and it was actually very funny. After the play, Leo got right to work. He assisted in disassembling the stage and carrying the pieces downstairs. Bambi, Antonio, Kyle, and a few others gathered around and spoke and laughed. I participated and enjoyed seeing people. Still, I kept looking for Leo. I had to refill my water bottle, so I walked to the fountain. I saw Leo and a couple others carrying a piece of the stage. I looked at him and smiled. He and I only made eye contact 2 or 3 times, and only for a millisecond. He passed, and I returned to the gathering. I saw him a handful of times, but I remember each one. We left the school, went to the deli for a drink, then returned. As we were coming back, Leo was leaving. I gave him a big smile, as a sort of olive branch. I don't know whether he saw me or not. I watched him walk away into the night and I continued to joke around with the group. I miss Leo. I miss seeing him smile. I miss making him smile. Those times are over now, but I'll be missing them.

P.S. - I'll be opening the gift tomorrow. I have work early tomorrow morning so I just want to pass out now. Goodnight everyone. I don't say this enough, but thank you all for reading (and sometimes responding).

Freak on a Leash

After I blogged my last entry, I got out of bed (finally). I made myself an omlette that actually looked kinda good. It had cheddar cheese inside with a hint of garlic salt that I mixed into the eggs. It was great. While eating, I skyped Bambi. We talked and laughed and discussed some stuff. He said he's gonna come with me tomorrow to our old high school. They have an annual children's play, and tomorrow is the only home show. I had totally forgotten about it until last night. Bambi and I are gonna meet up for dinner then head to the show. It should be good considering the good cast. In the back of my mind, I thought of Leo. Would he be there? Am I going to see him? What is Bambi gonna do if he's there? All of these questions will be answered by tomorrow night. Anyway, the Skype call ended, and I had to get ready to go.
Before I left to meet the Kappas, I wanted to vacuum. I got a little caught up in a tv show about a murder case, so I was running late. I ran around my house vacuuming as fast as I could. I got my stuff together and left. I got to school a little late, but they didn't mind. They were all hanging out in the cafe. Jen and 2 of the Alpha girls were talking. The Alphas were the first group to enter the Kappas. Jen and I will be the Kappa class, and before us were the Iotas. I'm already starting to know some of the Greek alphabet. But I joined Jen and the Alphas. One of the Alphas is like the big mommy. She's the one who texts me about meetings, and tries to include me in a majority of the conversations. Her name is Sky. She's really nice to me, and insists on including me in everything. We all talked and eventually left for ice cream. We spent about 30mins all crowded into a small Hagen Daaz ordering ice cream. I got a caramel cone shake. It was pretty damn good. We all walked back to school to finish our treats. We got there and talked and laughed. I found myself becoming more open to talking and contributing to conversations. It was nice. While we were in the cafe, I saw Jess. I hadn't seen her in a long while, so I stopped to talk. She said that with all the sorority girls surrounding me, I looked like someone from Mean Girls. I like that movie, so I can't say I didn't like the idea. She and I talked and I realized how much I missed her weird antics. She invited me to have lunch with her and some guy tomorrow. I agreed, but only because she says he's hot. I wanna see who she's talking about, and maybe try to hook them up by suggesting a lunch date. Who knows? Anyway, I got back to the Kappas, and continued enjoying myself.
I checked the time and almost died. I was supposed to meet my mom somewhere at 8, and it was now 7:25. Fuck. I grabbed my coat, said goodbyes, and ran. I caught the train just as it pulled into the station. 50mins later, I meet my mom. Needless to say, she was pissed off. My parents have weekly therapy sessions, and she hates missing them. At least she gets therapy. I've asked for it, and what have I gotten? Nothing. She was pissed off because she couldn't keep her appointment. I felt bad, but at the same time I was confused. They couldn't go to their meeting without me being home. Why? Oh yea, because Erik can't fucking take care of himself. You have to actually tell him to shower and brush his teeth, or he won't do it. So they needed me home to watch him. I have to sacrifice parts of my life, so they can be happy. I feel like I'm still on a leash. I'm in college for fuck sake. Erik is 11, he needs to learn how to take care of himself without someone telling him what to do. Even while blogging, my mom told me to feed the cats and empty the dishwasher. Really? Can no one else do this stuff? I'm trying to go out a little more and enjoy some freedom. I want to be able to have fun without being bitched at about it. In the end, my parents still have me on their leash and pull me back whenever they find it convenient. I'm not 15 anymore. I'm 18, in college, and need some separation.

Ease In

I've been so tired as of late. My blogging seems to be suffering. I need to try to be more consistent. Anyway, after visiting with Mr. Caster the other day, I headed to school. It was Kappa Game Night. I was a little late, but they didn't mind. We played hangman and Scattergories and just hung out. I found out that there would only be 2 new pledges into the sorority. It was just me and one other girl named Jen. We introduced ourselves and kept hanging out with everyone. I feel as if I'm starting to loosen up a bit around the Kappas. This is good. Everyone decided to leave together and travel in a pack. The Kappas took the lead, and Jen and I followed. We started talking and I learned that she lives only a few blocks from school. She lives with her fiancé and her family is back in Maryland. She seems so independent. I really want to speak to her more. She's cute and very sweet. Jen and I are going to be the only 2 pledges, so I want to at least get to know her better. The group split up taking assorted trains, and I traveled with one of the Kappas solo. She was sweet. I knew her back in high school, and we were in the choir together. We knew each other, but not in detail. We chatted about the cold weather, and then separated a little while later. She took the bus, I took the train. I was exhausted going home, and I know I had school the next day. The weather was supposed to be rainy, icey and snowy, but why would my school close?
I woke up the next morning hoping for a text from the school alerting us to stay home from school. Nope. I begrudgingly started my day. The commute was normal, but wet. Puddles were feet deep, and the sludge was everywhere. I got to school, went to classes, hung out with Elijah, went to the rest of my classes, and headed home. I played Pokémon all the way home on the train. I finally have a Blastoise and Delphox. I came home, ate, watched tv, and passed out. Thrilling day, I know.
Today, I'm meeting with the Kappas again. We're all going out for an ice cream social. I love ice cream. This should go well. Hopefully this time, I can get more vocal and less shy. Wish me luck.

P.S. - After I get home, I'll be opening Leo's present. I've been ignoring it for a while, but I think I'm ready now. I know some of you guys must be curious, and frankly, so am I. Once again, wish me luck.

"I Found My Myra"

I'm doing a mid-day blog. I don't usually do this, but why not. I visited Mr. Caster today, and we watched a movie called Waterloo Bridge. This movie plucked my heartstrings and made me almost come to tears. It takes place in London when England and Germany were at war. During a London air raid, everyone rushes to an underground bomb shelter. It's there that Army Captain Roy Cronin meets ballet dancer Myra Lester. The two talk for a few brief minutes and the chemistry begins. When the raid is over, everyone leaves. Myra gives Roy a good luck charm since he will be shipping out soon. They part ways, and instantly miss each other. Roy goes to her ballet performance that night, and the two meet once again. They go out for dinner and fall even more in love. The story progresses, and after only a day or two of knowing her, Roy proposes. They go to get married, but have to wait until the next day. Before tomorrow comes, Roy is surprisingly shipped out early, and Myra isn't able to say goodbye. Myra looses her ballet job, and lives with her former ballet partner/best friend. Roy and Myra loose touch, and Myra sees in the newspaper that Roy is dead. She breaks down and gives up on life. She becomes a prostitute with her friend. After a while, Myra finds Roy while looking for clients. The two are amazed they met once again, and that he was alive. They plan to marry once again, but Myra isn't so happy. She had slept with many men for money since Roy was gone because she believed him dead. The two visit his mother in Scotland to get married at her mansion. She finally tells his mother the truth of what she had done. The mother says that she understands why she did it, but it does cause a problem. Myra makes the mother promise that she will never tell Roy. She agrees, and later that night Myra runs away back to London, unable to face Roy. Roy goes after her to London, but can't find her. She had committed suicide by jumping in front of a military truck on Waterloo Bridge (where she and Roy first met). The movie ends with an older looking Roy standing on Waterloo Bridge. He's holding the lucky charm Myra had given him when they first met. He steps into a car and the credits roll. 

I looked over and saw that Mr. Caster was tearing up. He explained to me that he and his wife loved that movie, and it hurts him to watch it without her. He went on to say that he loved it so much because "I found my Myra". He found his wife whom he loved with all his heart and soul. She died and left him feeling empty and sad. It made me sad to see him so distraught. We talked for a little bit, and he told me about the day she had died. "Her last day alive was an unusually good day." and they had gone out for lunch at their favorite restaurant. His wife had gotten a headache midday, so they took it easy and went home. She died very peacefully, and enjoyed her last day, as did Mr. Caster. It was touching to hear his story of her last day, and how he was even happy that she wasn't in pain. I want a love like theirs. Unconditional. Adventurous. Unique. Eternal. 

Essence of Snow

Buddhism class was fun. We discussed The Four Noble Truths and started to really get into the fundamentals of Buddhism. I'm really enjoying the class. I find the subject fascinating and insightful. To be honest, I think I may begin practicing Buddhism. I'm loving all of the Buddha's teachings so far, and my set of believes seems to match those of Buddhists. If I still feel this way by the end of the course, I'll be converting to Buddhism. I'm serious about this too. You aren't struggling in life to please some big god above, but rather to satisfy and better yourself as an individual. It's a very empowering religion, but also sort of confusing and depressing at parts.
After Buddhism, I headed over to my dad's office. I stepped outside and felt the cool wind blow across my face. It felt good, but sent a chill down my spine. I put my hood up and began walking. The snow is beautiful when it falls in New York. The buildings look so magical with a layer of snow on them. The pure white flakes flutter to the ground and join the chaos below. The flakes turn brown and mix with melted snow to form a fabulous coating of slush. Slush was everywhere, and some puddles were extremely deep. Luckily for me, I was wearing my boots. I trudged through the snow and sludge while looking up at the white dots falling from the clouds above. Occasionally, a small flake would hit my lips. It gracefully landed on my lip, made me feel cold, then would disappear leaving behind only a microscopic speck of water on my lips. I enjoyed the sights while walking. I got to my dad's office, and we headed home. What normally takes 1hr only look maybe 30mins. While turning to park in front of my house, my dad and I got stuck. It took us a long while, but we got unstuck. I got inside and changed into pjs. I relaxed, and that ended my day. Tomorrow I'm seeing Mr. Caster. Then at 6pm, I have a Kappa event (Game Night). I'm excited for tomorrow. Now let me enjoy sleep while I can still get it.

Rita

Was I right or was I right? Seahawks kicked ASS out there. But before the game, my great aunt came over. She's very talkative and likes to gossip about the extended family's affairs. Apparently some distant cousin of mine got engaged. In March we're all invited to a small engagement party for them. They may be getting married in London. She's Russian, and he's Scottish. I hope we can attend the wedding if it's in London. I've never been to Europe before, and I really want to see everything over there. I want to see where I came from. I'm half Swedish, a quarter Irish, and a quarter Scottish. I'm only the 2nd generation American born Swed from my dad's family. I believe I would be the 3rd generation on my mother's side. My grandparents and great grandparents came with nothing, but lived the American dream. Very inspirational if I do say so myself. Anyway, Rita left after 45mins and the game began.
I got very into the game. My dad and I were arguing with the refs foul calls and penalties. My mom joined in too adding her input. Soon the flood of food came. Chips with dip, 2 different kinds of wings, fries, hotdogs, and an assortment of toppings and sauces. The wings were amazing. I don't know how many I ate, but it was a lot. The game ended and I was satisfied. It was a good game, but it probably could have been better if the Broncos actually fought back and did something. So much for their 'great' offense. After the game, we cleaned up and I pretty much passed out.
This morning it was snowing. Again. Hard. Ugh. School wasn't canceled, so I got out of bed and went on my way. The commute was slow but I got to school on time. Health class was annoying. My professor is such a liberal. Then my psych class was canceled due to the weather. My next class isn't until 1:55, and I have nothing to do. School is closing at 3, so my 1:55 Buddhism class is my last class of the day. After that, I'm meeting my dad at his office a few blocks away and getting a ride home. I'm bored of this. I'm bored of everything.

XLVIII

I apologize for not being consistent with the blogging. Life kinda gets in the way. Friday I had school yet again. I went about my classes, and saw one of the Kappas walk by in the hallway as I was sitting in a class. She caught a glimpse of me, stopped to smile and wave, then kept going. I smiled back and continued with history class. My professor seems to be a huge JFK conspiracy theorist. It's kinda awesome. After history, I took the train. The whole way I was playing that game Flappy Bird. It makes me want to punch someone in the face. My high score is 24 so far. It isn't bad, but I wanna keep playing that stupid addicting game.
I had work on Saturday, 6-12. Bob was there per usual, so we had our banter and nonsense. Work is becoming easy and a lot less stressful. Soon, the work day was over. 6hrs of work only felt like maybe 2hrs. I got home tired, but couldn't sleep. I watched tv and passed the time until bed. I found it hard to sleep, but I did it. This morning I got up for work, and wasn't as tired as I thought I would be. By the time I got to work, Matt was there. Matt, Bob, and I all hung out and did our thing. Today is Super Bowl Sunday, so Bob said it was one of the busiest days of the year. I called bullshit, and didn't believe people stock up on bagels for a SB party. They would more likely be buying buffalo wings, burgers, hotdogs, and chips. I was wrong. Dead wrong. The store started to get busy at 7:30 and spontaneous rushes would happen. Around 9:30, we got busy for about an hour and a half nonstop. People were lined up out the door wanting bagels. It was all fairly easy and quick. Matt, Bob, Kevin, and I all moved around each other and worked in harmony (mostly). We all made passing comments about customers or annoying orders, or just shit talking each other. The rush ended, and I was relieved. My shoulder was killing me. Soon Paulie arrived, as did Joe. I was headed to the back of the store into the kitchen and I was somewhat skipping and saying random things in a melody kind of. Joe made a comment saying "Yo *Eve*, how are you always so damn happy? Even if you get here mad early, you're still happy. I don't know whether it makes me mad, or happy too". I smiled and said that being happy is how I get through the work day. When dealing with an annoying customer, sing your favorite song. Dance a little. Say strange comments. Just get the negativity out and be happy. I like to make weird noises sometimes just because I can. I'll plop some tuna onto the scale and say "SHMOOP". I'll sweep and be saying "bop boooooop boop bopppp". I'll wash dishes and just sing random melodies and substitute the real words with whatever I want. I wonder if I really do seem happy all the time. I'll to pay attention more I guess. After work, I got home and almost immediately took a shower. I felt sweaty and gross. Now I'm in my pjs blogging while my cat cuddles next to me.
Anyway, tonight is the Super Bowl. My dad is making buffalo wings and hot dogs, and our house is stocked with chips and different kinds of dip. I'm not really a fan of football, but why not watch? I may as well try to pay attention while stuffing my face with wings. I'll especially watch the commercials and the halftime show. I mean..Bruno Mars with the Red Hot Chili Peppers? What kind of strange combination is that? Let's see how this all plays out. By the way, GO SEAHAWKS!