@_@

In less than 24hrs, I'll be 21. I remember thinking about this birthday back when I was 16 and thought it would be so cool to be so old and mature. I would have my life together and be successful. In some aspects, I've been successful. But generally speaking, I've fallen short of what younger me expected. I may have found the man of my dreams, but that's really all I've accomplished. I've taken several college courses on a wide variety of subjects. I know much more than I did in high school, but nothing has come of it. Come spring, I'll have a degree to show. But only a minor associates. I don't even feel the need to capitalize it because of its insignificance. Turning 21 should be a fun time. A time when you feel happy and just a little more mature. Of course I'll be happy and having fun, but there's still that nagging feeling of how unaccomplished I am. I'm dating a man going to law school. That in and of itself is intimidating. I have friends who are in the process of getting major degrees that will better their futures. I know I'm making progress, and for that I'm grateful. But I don't want to be that one weird old person in the lecture hall who looks like they could be chaperoning a middle school dance. Nor do I want to be a 35yr old with no college degree and no meaningful future. Being (almost) 21 is kind of freaking me out, I can't lie. Time is going too quickly, and I don't want it slipping through my fingers.