The Valkyrie: Black Pearl

Things are starting to feel more real for me. I met my graduate school cohort this week and it was nice. It was a video call orientation including 3 professors/doctors with whom we'll be working for the duration of our MA's. My cohort consists of about 20 other people. Not many of us spoke, but there was an ongoing chat during the meeting where we could ask questions. At the end of the call someone from my cohort put her email in the chat and told people to email her our numbers so we could establish a big group chat. I emailed her immediately and was added to the chat shortly thereafter. I was the first one, but there are about 4 or 5 of us total now. We talked briefly about what classes we're each taking and if people would be interested in a hang out. It was nice getting to talk to people who are in the same boat. We're all new to graduate school and are pretty anxious and nervous about it. I'm looking forward to getting to know them more and working closely when classes start. Talking to them also brought up the thought of how lucky I was to be in this pool of people. I was selected for a specialized MA program at a very respected school. I'm one of only 20 people in my cohort. Graduate schools are so competitive and difficult to get into, which I've learned first hand by being rejected twice already. The fact that I was chosen out of hundreds and hundreds of applicants is insane. I'm positive that I didn't have the highest scores or super competitive grades. Yet, they chose me. It's just an odd realization to have hit you so suddenly.

I got my nails done today for the first time since going into quarantine. I was ordered to medically quarantine before my city got shut down, so by the time my quarantine was over the city's quarantine was just beginning. That was March 11th. I'll never forget that date because it's the last date that my life was normal. The last time I wore my work security ID around my neck. The last time I struggled to find parking at my office.

The last time I stopped by Seth's work (which is only 10 minutes from my office). The last time I grabbed an iced coffee on my lunch break. The last time I saw most of my coworkers. Now everything is different. My only means of communication with my coworkers is through our internal chat systems. Laughing emojis and stupid client stories are different when you're typing it out. Normally we would send IM's then look at each other across the cubicles and laugh together. It's sad, and I miss them a lot. I guess what I'm trying to say is that getting my nails done made me feel a fleeting sense if normalcy. I was able to pick a sparkly girly color and talk to my nail tech and listen to the ladies gossip. It was comforting. I can't stop looking at my nails because I'm so accustomed to them being naked. Now they're blue, they're shiny, and they're extra sparkly. Sometimes all it takes is something stupid like a pretty manicure to motivate someone to keep going and hold out hope.

Here's the beloved music section. I always recommend headphones because my personal favorite is to let myself disappear into the music. You block everything out and just focus on the music and the feelings it brings you.