It's All Just Temporary

I had my first day of classes back from the whole week I had off. I was exhausted and falling asleep in my morning lecture. That isn't like me. I've been so attentive this semester so far, so being off my game isn't a good thing. But I know why I was tired. I got about 8hrs of sleep, so it wasn't that. It was the fact that for the first time in a few nights I had no one to cuddle. I got used to Josh being right there all the time. I'd put my legs over him, cuddle his arm, and my favorite thing was just to simply spoon. Being able to roll over in the night and see the person you love is such an amazing feeling. They're right there next to you in their most vulnerable state, just sleeping peacefully. I watched him for at least a few minutes every night and fell asleep to his snores. It was comforting knowing that I had someone next to me. My pajama shirt still smells like him. Even if I slept partially naked, I'd still keep my shirt on. His scent is on that shirt and I'm wearing it right now. I bunch up the fabric, bring it to my face, and take a deep breath. I know he's the one.
I've changed so much in so many ways since he and I met. I'm so much happier, less shy, and more outspoken. I'm still reserved, but I'm much more likely to voice an opinion or do something a little quirky. My social anxiety is still bad, but I'm getting more comfortable talking to my classmates. Everyone around me has noticed my attitude change. Josh brightens up my world like no one ever has before. I decided to change my hair color. It's something I haven't done in years. I even got a substantial hair cut. I didn't just trim the ends, but I took off about 4in. My hair is long and it isn't noticeable to anyone but me, but I consider it short now. I now have about 3ft of auburn red hair, and I love it. I can express myself and do what I want. I feel free. When Josh and I were around each other constantly, there were moments we didn't speak. There were times where a conversation ended for a few minutes, but the beauty of it was that I didn't feel compelled to keep talking. I was happy to just sit in silence and enjoy his physical company. It wasn't an awkward silence by any means; it was a comfortable one.
Today my mom gave me a small pep talk before school. She saw I was tired and clearly not in the school mentality. She told me "it's all just temporary". I have to kick ass at school and just make it through the next few years. I feel like the same applies to Josh and I. We both know that we won't be apart down line, and our situation for right now is only temporary. I have to work hard to achieve my goals and make the perfect life for myself. I know that as a lawyer, Josh will be making a decent income. However, I refuse to be a housewife who does nothing and pulls no weight. I want to do what I've dreamt of for so long, and that's the goal I need to keep in mind. I have an entire folder of pictures on my phone entitled 'Motivation'. It has quotes, pictures from Montauk, and of course various pictures of Josh and I taken during our adventures together. My situation is only temporary. One day I'll wake up next to Josh and thank the Lord that I made it.