Stressed Bee

Once again, I've been a busy bee. The night at Kyle's was great. Kyle's boyfriend was there, and so was their friend Rich. Rich and I had never hung out before, but I know that a few years ago he disliked me. One of my ex-boyfriends was a friend of Rich's, so when I dumped my ex, Rich thought I was a mean person. However, we hit it off when we were at Kyle's house. We made jokes and laughed a lot. We got along. All of us played D&D for about 6hrs then headed to bed. Kyle and Jeremy slept in the same bed. Rich slept alone, and so did I. I was jealous of Kyle. He got to be close and intimate with his partner. I wanna have that with Bambi one day. The next morning, Roch went home and I invited Bambi over to Kyle's. We all played videogames together then we split. Bambi and I went to KFC and talked. Then we went to a deli for bagels (as if I don't get enough bagels at work). It was nice. I love him. Soon I went home and fell asleep. I was exhausted.
I woke up this morning around 10, messaged Leo and Bambi for a bit, then fell asleep. I woke up at 1:30. I needed to be leaving my house at 2. I took a quick shower and ate a couple White Castle burgers, then headed out with my mom. She was showing me how to get into the city and my college using the bus and subway. I think I know what I'm doing now. I think. Let's hope I don't get lost on my way to school. We went there and came back. I've been helping Leo write an essay for the last few days. It's for his military academy application. I'm editing and critiquing it for him to help improve the essay. I proofread it for the second time after he corrected it. We spoke on the phone for a bit then hung up. I played a little Xbox with Bambi and now I'm finally in bed. Exhausted. Again. I'm waking up at 9am so I can Skype with Leo in the morning. I hope he won't mind my looking like a zombie. Tomorrow is my last day off till college starts. In between my first day of college and now, I'm off tomorrow, then working Saturday and Sunday. Busy bee. Stressed bee.

R&R and D&D

Today was my first day back at work. I closed by myself. Just me and Albert. It was kinda lonely. However, the customers showed me some love. A lot of them actually noticed my 2 week absence. They asked if I was OK and if I went on a vacation. I told most of them that I was just sick for a bit. The regulars heard the full story of my neck injury. They sympathized with my situation and wished me well. It was sweet.
My dad drove me home from work and I laid on my bed, totally naked. I was sweaty and wanted to cool down. For 20mins I stayed like that until I had to get dressed and leave again. I had physical therapy today. My therapist did an evaluation on me. Apparently I have a couple knots in my neck/shoulder which can cause severe pain and spasms. I was hooked to an electrode machine for 15mins and then I did stretches. I have to do neck stretches 3x a day. Ugh. It's annoying but I want to make myself better. My neck apt is Friday evening. I'm kinda hoping for a massage. It sounds relaxing.
Tomorrow I have work again. At least I'm working with someone though. I'm closing witIh Ray. I haven't seen him in over a month so it'll be nice catching up. After work, I'm coming home and relaxing for a bit. Around 8 I'm heading to Kyle's house for a party. Us and a few of his friends are playing Dungeons and Dragons (Zelda version). I hope to enjoy myself. I could use some rest and fun before school begins (8 days).

Eggplant Parmesan

Today was a family adventure. My mom decided to take us to a farm out on LI and let us pick our own vegetables. The ride was a little over an hour. I spent most of my time listening to music and talking to Leo. We got to the farm and it was beautiful. Blue skies above, open fields in front of us, and dirt roads under our feet. It was warm but there was a nice breeze to keep us cool. We headed for the fields. First, we picked eggplants; 3 huge ones. Then we went on to the peppers. There were so many types. We finished with tomsatoes. All of our fresh veggies cost us only $20. Before we left, we stopped by the barn to pick up other things we wanted (onions, corn, lettuce, cheese...). We then headed home.
On the way home, we stopped at GameStop. Erik needed Microsoft points and a new headset. My mother and I waited in the car while the boys shopped. They emerged with a Turtle Beach headset. I don't know if I have any serious gamers in the audience, so I'll explain. Turtle Beachs are one of the best brands of headphones for serious gamers. This pair cost $60. A $60 headset for a 10yr old. Yea. That makes sense. I questioned my dad and eventually struck a deal. I give my old headset to Erik, and I get the Turtle Beachs. Great deal. I didn't even have to pay (I offered to pay him the money back, but my dad declined).
After GameStop, we went home and the cooking began. My mother showed me how to make Eggplant Parmesan. We make 2 batches of it. We cooked together and had fun. The food came out delicious. We all ate and enjoyed it. After dinner, we just relaxed. Eventually, Erik went to sleep and I got to try my new headset. It took me a while to figure it out, but I got it up and running. They're so comfortable and cool looking. It just has soooo many wires. Anywho, now I'm in bed. I'm exhausted. I have work tomorrow. I'm finally getting myself back to normal. I'm still on some medication, but I should be OK to work. I'm only working one early shift which is good. Life is slowly getting back to 'normal'.

Pitfalls

I found out why Bambi was upset. It was me. All the little things I did pissed him off. From the way I praised bow ties (he hates them), to how I called a color Coral instead of Pink. He just got pissed off and when I tried talking to him, he snapped at me. I decided to just stop talking to him. I ignored his texts. I tried to absorb myself in the tv and not think about it. As soon as I got enveloped in the television, I heard a bang coming from upstairs. I muted the tv and listened. I heard arguing. It was my parents. This is the last thing I needed to hear. My parents screaming and cursing at each other. I went upstairs and slammed their door shut as loud and hard as I could. The screaming paused for a moment then resumed. I went back downstairs to try and drown out my life. I texted Bambi back. We continued to argue until 3am. I gave up and turned off my phone.
I slept until noon. I woke up, washed my face and listened to the silence. No one was home. I turned my phone on and saw Bambi had texted me a lot. I ignored him. I went online and browsed the web. My dad came home and made me soup. Green pea soup with hot dogs in it. I  picked out the hot dogs and ate as much as I could stomach. It was gross. My dad said it was a childhood favorite of his. I guess he was a strange child. Anyway, I ate then began chores. I did the dishes and dusted. Now I had to empty a huge break-front cabinet we have in my dining room. I spent over an hour taking everything out and organizing it. We have a lot of expensive old china, Waterford Crystal glasses, and antiques. I probably handled thousands of dollars worth of nonsense. It was exhausting and annoying. After I emptied the whole case, my parents moved it to another room. Then I had to put all the shit back into the case. I brought the stuff handful by handful while my mother put it inside. When I was finished, I sat on my couch and saw Bambi had sent me a picture of himself in a bow tie. Today was his training. I had almost forgotten. I started to text him. It was awkward. It still is. However, he told me that he needed to cut his hair for the job. He has long curly hair, but he keeps it pulled back into a ponytail. I call it his poof. I got really sad and thought about how different he would look with short hair. Then he told me he was only kidding. Thank god. One of the things I love about him is his crazy hair. He and I seem to be talking normally now. Not as angry or vindictive as before. He wants to call me and tell me about his training day. He sounds anxious about it. I hope he enjoyed it. No matter how angry I get at him, I always find myself loving him more and more each day.

Ups and Downs

I've been busy I guess. Lots of people coming and going from my house. My brother's friends, Bambi, and NUMEROUS contractors (we're getting a whole new kitchen and dining room).
Bambi came over on Wednesday. We met in front of my house and we walked to my neighbors house. We held hands and smiled and talked. We let the dog out and sat down. I put my legs on him and we talked, nothing sexual. We let the dog in and headed home. I made us each a bowl of chicken ramen. He showed me how to cook ramen the "right way" and we laughed together. I felt like a married couple (I know, that sounds dumb). We ate together and talked. Then we went and watched Youtube videos on the Xbox. Our bodies were intermingled and we were laughing nonstop. My parents came home and we watched tv with my mom. Dinner came soon and we had burgers. My parents ignored Bambi and I. They paid more attention to my brother and his friend. Oh well. We ate and then watched more tv. Bambi's father came and picked him up a little while after dinner. He and I didn't do anything sexual, and maybe kissed a handful of times. Yet, we both had so much fun just enjoying each other's company. I really see myself being in a stable relationship with Bambi.
Anywho, the next day, I invited Leo to come over. He met me in front of my house in his BSA uniform and we walked to my neighbors house for the dog. We talked and laughed. When we were in private inside the house, he wanted to get touchy and hug me. I hugged him but I wouldn't let it go further. We just continued talking and catching up. We soon left the house and I walked him to the bus stop. We waited and waited but every bus passed us by. Jerks. I felt bad but I had to leave him there alone. The last thing I needed was for my brother to tell my mom I disappeared for too long. I went home and relaxed. I enjoyed the time with Leo. It was nice to be able to talk and catch up. I spent that night on the phone with him for 3 1/2hrs as well. The conversation started happy but took a turn. I told him about how I hung out with M and that I actually liked her a lot. He seemed upset about it. We both brought up more serious topics like college, his senior year, the military, and our ex-lovers. Eventually, we got tired and said goodnight. I stayed up for a good 2hrs after we hung up. I just thought about my future, Bambi, Leo, my family, and the military. My mind wouldn't shut up. However, I eventually went to sleep.
I woke up this morning and felt good. I have no idea why, but I went on with my morning. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. For the first time in over a week, I was able to brush my hair. I had a date. Bambi and I were going out to lunch and see a movie. I met him at Applebee's and we ordered the usual green bean crispers and an entrée. I had pre-ordered movie tickets so we could skip the line. We arrived to the movie and they asked us for ID. It was a rated R movie so we need to be 17 or older (which we are). The guy said he needed ID or we couldn't see the movie. We don't have city, state or federal IDs so we were screwed. I had already paid for the tickets and wanted to get my money back but they needed my debt card. It was home. Of course. There were also no other movies we wanted to see. So he gave me the tickets and said that I could come back within a month and see a movie for free using those tickets. Fine. We left the theater and headed to a GameStop. I bought Pokemon White I and then went to Hagen Daaz. We had ice cream and decided to head to my house. We hung out at my house and played Pokemon together at my dining room table. Nerd love. We sat outside and waited for his parents to come. They were going to get vests, shirts and bowties for the training tomorrow at the catering hall. I was coming along. His parents showed up and we got into the car. That's when Bambi changed. He got silent and depressed looking. He wouldn't speak to anyone. Antonio and I talked instead. We discussed college and Pokemon and other assorted things. Bambi was quiet. We went shopping and Antonio and I were fooling around with some tags on the hangers. Bambi was quiet. His mother and I talked about a pair of earrings. Bambi was silent. Antonio and I continued to playfully bicker and talk. Bambi didn't say a word. We decided to go to a diner. We all sat and talked and ate and were happy. Bambi didn't participate. His mom asked him a question and he ignored her. It started to annoy me at how cold he was being. In the car ride back to my house, he reclined in the backseat and ignored everyone. He went from being sociable and laughing to silent and depressed. I don't understand. What happened? Was it me?

To the Future and Beyond

I guess I haven't been blogging recently on account of my boring life in the last few days. Take pills, lay on the couch, watch TV, and sleep. The days just blend together sometimes.
However, today was different. I had my follow-up appointment with the doctor, and Bambi had his job interview. My appointment came first. The doctor was glad to see that I'm feeling better, however, I still have lack of motion, pain and stiffness. He prescribed me an anti-inflammatory/pain killer. Yet another pill to take. My last dose of the steroids was today, but I still need to take the Oxy if I have discomfort. I had to schedule a physical therapy session too. I'm supposed to have 3 or 4 sessions then revisit the doctor to see if anything else is needed. My first session is on Monday. I hope all goes well.
Now, onto Bambi news. He and his brother both got the job. They will both be busboys and make about 50¢ more than minimum wage. They go for training on Saturday. I'm excited for the both of them. They both needed/wanted jobs. I'm so proud of them.
Tomorrow, I see Bambi. He's coming over at noon. My neighbors are away on vacation so I'm going over to their house to feed/walk their dog. I'll bring Bambi with me. We will have the house to ourselves. Maybe something will happen, maybe it won't. I'm excited to see him though. He had to shave almost all of his beard for the interview. I wonder how it looks...

Let's Get It Started

Last night, Leo and I spoke on fb. He was worried about my neck and the amount of medication I'm taking. He started getting a little too smothering, so I had to once again remind him that I'm with Bambi. He got upset and logged off soon after I told him I was happy with Bambi. I felt bad for upsetting him but I can't just let him proceed as if I'm his girlfriend, or a potential mate. I'm happy with Bambi. Very happy. Leo still has yet to talk to me all day. He's probably still upset. I feel terrible for hurting his feelings but he needs to remember I'm taken. Maybe I'm just a bitch. But I've made this clear before. I don't know.
Anyway, today was very boring. I just took my pills and was drowsy all day. I was lonely and told Bambi I missed him. He called me and we spoke for over an hour. He toured his college today. A trade school for audio engineering. He's very excited about it. He's going full time so he has class 5 days a week for 3hrs straight. It has all new studios and equipment. He also has a job interview on Tuesday. It's at a catering restaurant. He'll be making $50 for every party he works. There are 1-3 parties a day. He could be making a lot of money at this job. The more money he makes, the more likely it is that he and I can move in together. He's excited to start his life. I'm excited to start my life too. Hopefully someday soon, we can start our lives together.