MoSex

Things have been BUSY. Very busy. I found out I have a 10pg paper due Monday, so that's been keeping me busy. Between school, the sorority, home life, and Bambi, I'm constantly busy.
Yesterday I went into the city with Bambi. Where did we go? The Museum of Sex obviously. We met in the FlatIron district and explored till we found the museum. MoSex was actually interesting. It had a photo exhibit of Linda Lovelace and the first porn. They also had an exhibit on animals' sex lives too. Did you know that Bonobo monkeys engaged in homosexual acts, and females often rub their clitoris' together to get stimulation. I don't know about you, but it was all new to me. We wandered around and looked and laughed and read and learned. The gift shop was, well, full of sex toys. Shocker. Bambi wanted anal beads, but I refused. Ew. Next we headed to a sandwich shop called Eisenbergs. It's apparently a popular place, and the food is good and reasonably priced. If you're ever in the FlatIron district, I recommend trying it. I had eggs and pastrami with a side of onion rings if you're wondering. After we ate, we made our way to a record store where Bambi bought a couple DVDs to watch next time I came over. It was still early, so we didn't want to go home yet. We found a 7/11 that had tables and chairs inside. We got a table and hung out there eating chocolate and drinking Mountain Dew. It was a nice little date. We went to the train station and parted ways soon after. I got home, and began to work on my paper. My laptop decided to be a bitch and not work. I wrestled with it for a while, then gave up. Now to do my sorority homework. I got it done, then began to memorize the material. By the time I went to bed, it was around 3am.
I woke up tired and exhausted today. I threw on black pants, a big tshirt, and a hoodie. I just wanted comfy clothes. I slept on the train, which was actually a pretty decent nap. My classes went fast (kinda) then I had a lunch date with Pixie. She was so sweet and we found more stuff in common. As we finished lunch, a guy came over. A frat guy. Of course. He put his arm around me and called me babe. He said it's horrible manners to ignore someone, but I just kept looking at Pixie and cracked a smile. She shooed him away, then some sorority sisters came by. They all talked and laughed joined by the frat guy. Awks. They all disappeared after a while and I went to my class. I had a Buddhism test (which I fell asleep during), and I think I aced it. Next was history. It went quick. Finally, the sorority meeting came around. It went ok. I didn't know we had to repeat the things from last week AND this week. I paused a lot and started myself over a few times. I found that Jen and I both did a bit better this time around. We got some critiques, but none too bad. Our assignments were up to paar, and we have even more for next week. College is crazy. It goes from 0-300 in about .5 seconds. And tomorrow I'm working 6-1. Whoohoo. I'm exhausted. I hope sleep comes easy tonight.

Diploma

Today I visited Mr. Caster. We saw a musical. I can't recall the name, but it was okay. It wasn't one of my favorites. Mr. Caster and I spoke for about another hour or so, then I took the bus home. Bambi said he had had a surprise for me when I got back from visiting Mr. Caster. I told him I was home, and he sent a picture. It was his diploma. It had his name in big fancy letters, and showed me that he did it. I put in so much work to get him to do this. He had failed more classes than allowed in his senior year, and was behind in his foreign language studies. They prevented him from graduating with the rest of us, but the school still allowed him to make up what he needed to in order to get his diploma. I actually did a lot of the math work for him and tried to show him how to do it. I wasn't confident he would get it done in time, but he told me to stop stressing and leave it up to him. I did. I wasn't sure how he would do it, or if it were even possible, but I guess it was. It made me so proud to open up that picture and see his diploma. I will never forget that moment as long as I live. There I was standing in my kitchen eating macaroni salad and drinking an appletini, and the next thing I know, I'm in tears when I open his picture. I wanted to hug him so badly. We're arranging to go into the city on Thursday for a date. I couldn't decide between MoMA and the Museum of Sex. Total opposites, but equally as fascinating. We settled on Museum of Sex after a coin toss. I can't wait to see him. I'm just going to hug him and show him how proud I am. I love him.

Sexy Librarian

I'm beginning the fall behind again. I apologize.
Sunday was a very lazy day for me. I slept in and enjoyed watching anime for a few hours in bed. After a while, I got up and had some breakfast. Bambi and his family were picking me up at 6pm for a dinner for his dad's birthday. I got myself together and left with Bambi's family. When I got into their van, there was a new face. Her name is Ana. Apparently, Antonio has a new girlfriend. I was somewhat skeptical of Ana because of how his last relationship ended so quickly (and how she was a bitch). I didn't say much to Ana because I wanted to observe her and how she interacted with people. Bambi's family is like my second family, so I don't want her being disrespectful like the other girl was. Ana was nothing but sweet and funny. Antonio obviously liked her, and she liked him back. They held hands and kissed a couple times. It was cute. I had never seen him get that close with a girl (and he had only had his first kiss maybe 6 months ago). Ana was very nice and she seemed a little confused with the strange banter at dinner. Bambi, Antonio, and I all would go on these long tangents and 'argue'. It's funny to do, and I miss being with Bambi AND Antonio at the same time. The banter we have is always odd and entertaining. A lot of it happened so quickly that Ana seemed confused at times. I told her to get used to this bantering thing because it happens a lot with this crew. She and I interacted a bit more when I felt comfortable around her, and made sure I approved of her. Dinner was great, and we all talked and laughed (including his parents). I learned that Ana only lived 3 blocks away from me. I told her if she ever wanted to go to their house, I would show her how to get there and we could travel together. She seemed happy about it, and agreed. I arrived back at home and texted Antonio telling him that she had my approval. We chatted for a bit and I got her number from him. Next time I plan on going to their house, I'll invite her to join me. Who knows? Maybe she'll be here for a while, and maybe even become a sister-in-law. I wouldn't object. However, that's very much in the future.
Today I had school. Ugh. I caught the bus and train on time. I got to school on time, and went about my day. I had a psychology test, but that wasn't too hard. I finished early and went to one of the computer labs to do history homework. I happened to run into Elijah and we talked while typing. Apparently I type rather quickly. Meh. After hanging out there for a couple hours, I met up with a sorority sister to take my Monday photo. A couple of other sisters were in the group I found. Athena was there, and said I looked like a sexy librarian. I had on UGGs, nice jeans, a black tank top and a gray/black cardigan. I carried an Art book on my hip, my hair was up in a neat ponytail, and I had my glasses on with makeup done. I guess I did kinda look sexy. Go me. We all chatted, took the picture, then departed for our various classes. The rest of the day was fine. But for the first time, I ordered something at Starbucks by myself! A Grande Caramel Flan Latte. It was really quite good, so I recommend trying it at least. Today was only the 3rd time I had ever ordered from a Starbucks in my entire life. I'm growing up. I'm drinking coffee. I'm starting to look like a typical white girl in her UGGs, makeup, and Starbucks latte in hand.

Week One: Complete

I had classes on Friday, and all day I paid no attention. I was too busy studying and freaking out about the meeting we had after classes were over. I had recorded my voice reading the Commandments, Oath, and Alphabet. I would listen to them over and over again. I was in the library by myself listening to my recordings and charging my phone. I looked up and saw Jen go by. She looked confused. She saw me and came over to my table. She asked if I could help her print something for a class she was about to have. I showed her one of the computer labs and we were figuring out why it wouldn't print. One of the Kappa sisters happened to be in the lab and helped us. She asked if we had had any trouble with the frat guys yet. We both said no, and she said that was a good thing, and left. We're not allowed to talk to any of the frat guys, so they try to come up to us and torture us. We can't protest or yell at them, so we just have to walk away or ignore them. As soon as the sister left, who showed up? A frat guy. Of course. He came up to us asking for our names, if we needed help, told us our boyfriends were scary, and introduced himself. He came closer to us and tried to help Jen log off (while being EXTREMELY annoying). We quickly logged off, gathered our things, and ran. It was so strange not talking to someone who attacked you. But I have a feeling that after that first run-in, more are sure to follow.
By the end of the day, I had the Oath, Commandments, and Alphabet mostly down pat. Soon, it was time to meet the girls. I met up with Jen and them in our weekly meeting room. Jen was showing them our shirts. They actually came out pretty nicely. They were a little bit on the dark side, but the girls approved. Our first mission before the meeting was to go on a coffee run. We had to get 6 coffees from 2 different places. We came back to room with hands full of coffee. We got everyone's order right accept one, but it wasn't our vault (someone had given us the wrong thing to order). Sky told us to change into our tie dyed shirts and black pants (which Jen had let me borrow). We practiced what we would be doing in the meeting with Sky. She told us how to move, what to say, how to say it, and just to be calm. We did ok in practice, then the real meeting began. I was ready to crawl into a hole and die. Jen went first, and said it was ok. I went second, and mine was a little rough. Jen and I then came in together and did it in unison. We weren't bad. The meeting ended with a critique of our binders and how we performed with the memorization. I was told that my binder needed a little more color, and Jen needed to decorate the back of hers. One of the leaders, Shock, gave us a scary and kinda mean speech on how we don't text the girls enough. "How could you want to join something you know nothing about?". Jen and I both felt the impact of that one. We were all dismissed, and Jen and I were sent to our own special room across the hall to change back into our regular clothes. Jen and I were both shocked at the bluntness and hostility in that meeting. Sky soon stopped by our room to make sure we were ok. We were fine, just a bit in shock from our first meeting. Sky said that all of the girls will be your best friends, but in a meeting, everything is strictly business. I see that. Jen and I departed together, and I got home just in time to stuff my face (emotional eating I suppose). I soon went to bed tired, exhausted, and still in a state of shock. I only have 7 more weeks of this. I can do it.
The next morning I had work. Not much happened, but it was unusually busy. From around 7:30-11:30 it was a constant bustle. There isn't anything special to note about my work day other than Matt thinking my cargos made my ass look good. I won't complain, a compliment is always welcome. Although, I have noticed Matt was more touchy yesterday, and even texted me about stuff that wasn't work related. Weird. Kevin and I have also gotten fairly close. A customer last week had called he and I twins (when I wasn't there) because we look so similar. So now, we refer to each other as Twin and make jokes about us being twins. Work is a good atmosphere right now.
I came home and texted ALL of the Kappa sisters. ALL OF THEM. It was more time consuming than I ever thought possible. Oh well, at least I'm getting it done, and starting to know them better. Today is just going to be a lazy day for me. Anime, food, internet, food, sleep, anime, food.

Not Quite

I woke up early, checked my phone, and went back to bed. I was seeing if Jen had texted me yet. If the shirts came out bad, I was going to have to run to her house with dye. I woke up a few hours later and got a text. The shirts came out pretty cool looking. They were the right color, and the white patches weren't too obvious. We agreed they came out pretty damn good. After I texted her a bit, I started my day. I had to really buckle down today. My sorority binder still needed to be decorated, and things still needed to be memorized. I began with the decoration. I spent a while figuring out what to do. I ended up printing a few photos and using stickers to put them in place on the binder. I had pictures of my cat, random photography, and a picture of all of the seniors in the children's play last year (that happened before I began my blog). I also printed 2 pictures of Kyle and I. One picture was of us when we were around 3 or 4 hugging each other by a sandbox. The second photo was us in almost the same pose 15yrs later the day we graduated high school together. I put the photos side by side, and it's pretty incredible and beautiful to see how much we've grown together. I continued to put stickers everywhere and make sure the photos were in the right place. A picture of Jen and I together is on the cover of the binder. It's cute looking. I just hope the girls like the binder. A little while into decorating, Jen calls me. She washed the shirts (per the directions), and the pink had faded from hot pink to a light baby pink. We both somewhat panicked, but then she said her fiancé was going to go get bright pink fabric dye to try and fix it. If this doesn't work, I don't know if our shirts will be ready by tomorrow. She and I also have a lot of studying to do. I have about half of the oath, 90% of the alphabet, and maybe half of the commandments. I don't want to look like an idiot tomorrow if I forget something in front of the group. Even while showering, I was listening to a recording of myself reading the commandments and oath. Now, I still have a bit of time until I should go to bed. I guess I'll continue studying and memorizing and focusing. Wish me luck everyone. Oh, and also wish Jen and I luck with those damn shirts.

First Days

I meant to blog yesterday, but I was exhausted. It was a busy day. I didn't sleep much the night before. I got up a half hour earlier than normal in order to do my makeup. Having my hair and makeup done is a sorority requirement. I put on basic eye liner with mascara and called it a day. I put my hair up in a pony tail, got a nice top on, and headed out. My first class was canceled (due to MORE snow). I waited in the library, and I found some of the sorority girls. Each day I get dressed up (Monday and Wednesday), I have to take a picture with one of them to prove I was there and dressed appropriately. I posed with 2 of them, and someone took our full-body photo. I got that photo out the way, then chatted with them for a bit. I took my leave after a while, and continued to do some work. My psych class went fast enough, and was relatively easy. We have a test next week, so I should probably start studying for that. During the 2hr layover between classes, Jess and I went to Sephora. It was time to do some makeup shopping. I got a chubby stick, lip liner, blush, application pads, and an eye shadow pallet of a million colors. I spent $75 on makeup. Holy shit. I was supposed to be going out with the Kappa President for dinner and I had no money left. I texted her and told her I ran out of money. She was actually really nice about it, and told me that she spent $160 on makeup her first time buying it. Damn. Being a girl is expensive. After shopping, I ran to my Buddhism class (I was a couple minutes late, but he didn't mind). The rest of my classes were canceled, so I headed home with Elijah.
I got home and told my mom about the makeup. She was amazed at the cost, but was at least happy that I got quality makeup. She showed me how to apply lip liner and blush. She is also letting me borrow her BB cream till I get my own (hopefully today). I played around with the makeup last night and texted the girls a little more. I talked to Pixie and Nala. Pixie is really funny and sweet. Nala is kind of shy, but is sweet nonetheless.
Today I woke up and did my "routine". BB cream, eye makeup, blush, then chubby stick and lip liner. Ugh. So much stuff on my face. I mean, I think I did pretty good for my first time doing all this. I made sure to thoroughly inspect myself before I left. I even sent a pic to Jess to see how I did. She has yet to respond, but I'm not worried. It's really just a lot of work to keep up all day. How to women do this? So far, being a girly girl is kinda difficult.

I wrote the above this morning on my way to school. I meant to post it when I got off the subway, but forgot...oops. So I'll just continue it now I guess.
I got to school early and asked one of the girls if they could take a picture with me. We met up, took my picture, and left for class. I went through my cycle of classes, and it soon ended. Time for tie dye at Jen's apartment. She doesn't live far from school, only about 2 blocks. It's a nice little building. We got to her apartment on the 14th floor and I met her dogs. They were adorable. One looked like a brown pit bull/chihuahua and was named Lana. The other was a fluffy blonde corgie type of dog named Daisy. They were both adorable and super friendly. Lana actually gave me a little scratch on my face. After chatting and playing with the dogs, Jen and I tried to figure out the tie dye. It looked more purple than pink, and there wasn't much of it. We each had our own bowl, and dunked our shirts in the dye. There wasn't really enough dye so they both had some fairly obvious white patches where we ran out of dye. We decided to cross our fingers and hope this works. If it doesn't, we only have until Friday to make them again. Jen said she'll let me know how they come out in the morning. If they don't come out great, then we need to find a tie dye kit FAST and I'll go to her house to try it again tomorrow. After the tie dye, we ordered pizza. Chicken Parmesan pizza with a side of meatballs. Yes. While we waited for delivery, Jen and I decided to look over and discuss some sorority stuff. We talked about how awkward it was texting everyone and getting to know new people. Then we went over the Greek Alphabet and she showed me a video to help remember it. We discussed more sorority stuff and the phone rang. Jen buzzed up the pizza man, and dinner had arrived. From there, there was no more sorority talk. We got to know each other and discussed college, her dogs (rescue dogs), where she works, and some other stuff. It was so much fun hanging out with her. I really like her. I'm glad she's my pledge sister. We continued eating like pigs and then her fiancé came home from work. His name is Jay. He's a nice guy from what I could tell. I checked the time, and it was later than I thought. We said our goodbyes, and she hugged me saying I was welcome any time. I may be going back over there tomorrow to retry tie dye if it doesn't come out right. Cross your fingers. Although, I wouldn't mind hanging out with her  again.
By the way, the font is messed up again. I know...

Prepping

My parents were supposed to leave yesterday for a weekend trip to a friend's house in PA. The weather got in the way, so they didn't leave till today. But I was kind of glad they didn't leave on time. My mom took me out shopping and I got my Sorority Survival Supplies. I picked up pads, travel sized hair spray/body spray, scrunchies, gum, nail polish remover wipes, and some tampons from my own stock pile. I bought a makeup case to put all of the supplies in, and a shirt to tie-dye with Jen on Wednesday. I got home and filled the makeup bag with the supplies, plus I even threw in some bandaids and hand lotion just in case. It all fit perfectly. Next up was to begin decorating the sorority binder. This binder is only to be seen by members of the sorority, or other pledges. They contain the history, oath, 10 Kappa Commandments, the badge, and values of the sorority, as well as sections for taking notes during meetings, a section for sisters to assign homework, and a picture of the Greek alphabet. It's a plain white binder, and Sky told us to decorate it as we see fit. I sort of love stickers, so I typed out the name of the sorority, my pledge class, then stuck it on using stickers. I want to put pictures on it, but I'm not sure what. It's looking cute so far, though.
Today I began my mission of texting all of the sisters. I texted 5 so far. They all seem nice, but mostly brief. But surprisingly, one of the girls and I actually hit it off. Her name is Athena. She's a cadet in the NYPD and her mother has been a cop for a while. We talked about that and then moved onto parties and where each of us lives. She's super sweet, and even said we should see a movie together some time. I'M MAKING A FRIEND HOLY SHIZNIT. I suppose I should continue texting the girls. There's a long list I have to go through before I complete the task. I haven't even looked at the oath, Commandments, or alphabet in days. Ugh. I can't screw this up. Im so nervous. On the up side, I'm loving the bracelet they gave me, which is good since it won't be coming off for the next 2 months.

Now, I figured maybe I would do something fun on here. I'm gonna post 10 fun facts about Eve!
1) My favorite color is purple
2) I was a beef jerky taste tester when I was a kid
3) I used to have very short hair (like a pixie cut)
4) My cat thinks he's married to me
5) I grew up drinking root beer, and it always brings back memories when I drink it
6) I wear a celtic pinky ring with my mother's maiden name engraved on the inside
7) My esophagus wasn't connected to my stomach when I was born
8) I'm self-conscious about my eyebrows
9) I wear glasses
10) Giraffes are my favorite animal

Induction

Yesterday was a snowy day. There isn't much to report on that besides the fact that I entered a photo contest my school was giving and won. I'm swinging by the office on Tuesday to pick up my free "swag" from the contest. I wonder what it is...
So on to today! I was nervous and excited and anxious and terrified since I awoke this morning. Today was finally induction day. I didn't know what would be happening. After my classes finished up, I changed into my hot pink button down and flats. I looked pretty good I think. Jen got there a little while after me and we sat together talking. The Kappas were in the room across the hall prepping it for the ceremony, so we had to wait in another room. We waited, and waited, and waited some more. Jen and I spoke and gradually got to know each other. We spent around 45mins together just bantering and throwing ideas back and forth on how we thought the ceremony would go. Sky came into the room and told us everything was ready. This was it. Jen and I went into the hallway, but we entered the room one at a time. I went first while Jen stayed in the hall. I had to keep my eyes closed and let Sky lead me. When inside the room, the Kappas went in a circle asking me questions (to which I say the basic "I do"). There were a few questions which caused difficulty though. Why did I want to join the sorority? What can I bring to the table? Use 3 words to describe yourself. I was so nervous, and didn't expect those questions. I said some stupid answers, they laughed, and I finished. I had to repeat an oath vowing to be loyal to the sorority (I'm still not able to see anything by the way). Sky led me out of the room and it was Jen's turn. She looked so scared going in. I heard them laughing the same way they did with me. She came out, and then we walked in together (still keeping our eyes closed). We were handed a strange tube (which turned out to be a candle). I went first and lit a candle representing my joining asa pledge. Jen lit her candle as well. We stood in front of the room and repeated the oath together in unison. Once we finished, we were told to hold out our right arms. They proceeded to tie a bracelet onto our wrists. It's pink and silver with a diamond shaped bead in the middle and represents our loyalty to the sorority. We can't take the bracelet off until we officially cross over and become a sister instead of a pledge. Jen and I finally opened our eyes and they congratulated us. We all took photos, then Sky took Jen and I back to our original waiting room for a meeting. We were both presented with binders. I won't go into detail, but there's A LOT of work to do in the future for this sorority. Homework, dress codes, note taking, socializing, and making sure to carry the essentials (hair spray, nail polish remover, scrunchies, pads/tampons, etc..) in case a sister needs them. By next Friday, I have to memorize the Kappa Commandments, the oath, and the Greek alphabet. And I need to start texting all of the members of Kappa by Sunday so I get to know them a little more. Jen and I also both need pink tie-dye shirts dyed the same shade of pink. This is impossible unless both shirts are dyed at the same time with the same mix of color. So Jen invited me to come over to her apartment on Wednesday and dye our shirts together. Since she's my pledge sibling, I don't mind hanging out. I really should get to know her a little better.
Pledging is going to be a lot of work, but I already know it's going to be worth it.

Living in the Past

Wednesday's post!
So Wednesday, I had school. The commute was normal, and I got there early. I played some Pokémon and then began my day. Classes were pretty normal, but I felt exhausted. I had the weirdest dream that night. It started out where my family and I were at the airport. We saw a bunch of soldiers being shipped out, so we watched as they hugged goodbye and boarded the plan. Their families cried and the plane disappeared. Next thing I know, my mom suggests a road trip type thing to PA. She says that Bambi and I can go together and they'll catch up with us later. I arrived to the hotel without him, but I had another guy I know, Michael, instead. We talked about Pokemon and who would sleep in each bed. He was just sharing the room with me till Bambi got there. There was a knock on the door and some of the frat/sorority people were there. They gave me a flyer saying I was invited to a private concert featuring OneRepublic, Rise Against, A7x and some other bands. I accepted, then went back inside. I remember the room having a GameCube too. But then I woke up. It was an odd dream, that's for sure. I was thinking about it all day. If I went into the military, my family would be the ones crying and saying their goodbyes. I hate thinking of them being sad and worried. Even though we fight, I wouldn't want them feeling that way. 
My thoughts drifted from my future, to Leo's. What if he goes into the service and comes back injured for life? On the way home from school on the train, I thought of something. Maybe I should email Leo. I just want to smooth out any hard feelings. But then again, I don't want to keep opening up old wounds. If he's over me, he's over me. I want him to move on, not to dwell on me. I'm giving this way too much thought. I'm sure by now he's past this, and past me.

By the by, I don't know what the fuck I did to the text. I can't fix it. Send help...

Navy Cross

I know I've missed a few days of blogging. Gr. I'll post one entry for each day to keep them separate, kapish? This one will be Tuesday's entry.

On Tuesday, I had a busy day. I got up around 9am, got dressed, then flew out the door. I had a hair appointment. I was finally dying my hair the color I wanted. I've been trying to go for an auburn type of color, but no boxed hair dyes seem to give me the right color. My hairdresser brought out the book of colors, and I showed her what I wanted. She told me she knew exactly what I was going for. She's been doing my hair for years now; probably around 6 or 7yrs. She mixed a few colors and put it in. I got my hair washed of the color (which feels so good), and then she blow-dried it. It looked AMAZING. It's exactly the color I wanted. It's red, but not too red. It's subtle, but stands out. My hairdresser made me a custom color card so that way when I come in next time, she knows exactly what to mix. It's a mixture of copper, auburn, and another red color. It's absolutely perfect. After I got my hair done, I went shopping for that pink button down shirt. I found the perfect shirt. It's hot pink, cute, and fits me like a glove. I also picked up some pink tank tops, and a pink v-neck. I'm slowly going to start adding more pink to my wardrobe. 

After shopping, I went to Mr. Caster's house. We watched a movie about a marine in WWII. He met a girl in PA before he entered the war, and the two eventually fell in love (shock). She was a toughie and he liked that. He told her to wait for him until he got back. He was put on the front lines manning a machine gun. Both of his partners were shot, but only one was killed. The marine was left to demolish a whole field a japs with a broken gun. He did it, but the last jap threw a grenade at him, and he caught it. It exploded in his face, and shrapnel went into his eyes. Long story short, he lost his eyesight and was transferred back to San Diego, CA to a military hospital. He thinks of his girl back home in PA, but he decides to break it off with her. He thinks he'll only he a burden to her, and she deserves a lot better than him. He earns himself a Navy Cross, and the ceremony is in his hometown of Philadelphia. Again, long story short, he runs into his girl and she yells at him saying that she doesn't care if he can't see. "What's wrong with two people having to depend on each other?". It's true. What's wrong with that? Anyway, the two get back together and in the end, the marine regains some of his vision, being able to tell vague shapes and colors. It made me smile. They both were such hotheads, but didn't want to bother or burden each other. After the movie, Mr. Caster and I talked and talked and talked. I found out he lived on the same block as my college. We discussed the area where he lived, then shifted to talked about the military. I told him I was interested in the Air Force. He said if he could do it over again, he would join the Air Force instead of the Navy and Army. I really like Mr. Caster. He's such a sweet guy. Once again, it makes me think of my future. 

Bid

My neck hasn't been happy with me the last few days. Looking to my left is beginning to hurt, and I'm a bit stiff. I'm worried that I'm going to wake up with my neck injured like over the summer. I don't want to be on all those medications again, and I certainly don't want to be in that level of pain ever again. I've been taking steady doses of Aleve and using those lidocaine patches. I seriously hope his clears up soon.
So, onto my day today. I was nervous all weekend, and very giddy. Today was a big day for me. Why? Jen and I were called to a Kappa meeting to find out if we were accepted into the sorority. Sky sat down with us and gave us envelopes. They contained a certificate officially inviting us to join the sorority. Jen and I both accepted (of course), and I couldn't stop smiling. We posed with our invitations and Sky took pictures of us. I was so happy. I got my bid to join. Sky then told us about our induction. On Friday, we have a meeting at 4:30 to begin the induction. We have to wear a hot pink button down with black pants and flats. I don't own ANY pink shirts, so I guess that needs to change. Can you say shopping spree? I was informed of the sororities constant wearing of pink, so I'm going to need a few different tops. Pink isn't exactly my favorite color, but I guess I can deal with it. Anyway, during the induction we light candles, and begin our pledging process. This is so exciting. Like, holy shit. I noticed that today I was being more open and very sociable with Jen and Sky. I'm the most socially awkward person you could ever possibly meet in your entire life. I'm so shy and quiet. But once I open up, I'm surprisingly inappropriate and fun. I really hope I can open up to all of the sisters and enjoy this. I'm so excited to begin my pledging and make friends. Jen and I are now official Pledge Siblings. Am I beginning to sound too girlie? I feel as if I'm harping on this subject too much, but it just makes me so happy. I can finally have an official group of friends.
Oh, and something else cool happened today. I attended a Q&A session with the Editor-in-Chief of Popular Photography Magazine. She's so interesting and has a ton of insight. Afterwards, I grabbed one of her business cards and she invited me to email her if I want her opinions. I do. I have an Instagram page that I post my photos on, but it's nothing really professional. Even yet, I want to get her opinions on if they're at least decent. She urged us all to enter free monthly competitions held by the magazine. Maybe I will. But first, I need a good quality camera.
So that was my day. It really wasn't bad. In fact, it was pretty amazing. Today was one of those days where you look back on it and wish every day was that great.

Bird of Prey

I had work on Saturday (yesterday), and it went surprisingly fast. It was very busy and so we were all too distracted to be looking at the clock. My shoulder was killing me, but I had to keep going. Eventually, the crowd died down and I was able to breathe. I headed home, and was looking forward to having Sunday off. It's very rare I get a day off without asking, especially now that Jena is gone. I got home, chilled out, and slept. I awoke Sunday morning, pulled my shades closed, and went back to bed. Sleep is a beautiful thing. I got up and was immediately put to work. My mom was cleaning the entire inside of the fridge. Shelves were taken out, food was on the counters, and she was of course complaining about the mess. My dad makes his own iced tea (VERY sweet), and he isn't really neat about storing it. It gets the counters and the fridge shelves kinda sticky. My mom has an OCD streak, so this often causes fights between them. I helped her clean the fridge. Then she went on a long speech about how my dad and I never do anything around the house. I'm sorry, didn't I just vacuum on Thursday? And I dusted when I got home on Saturday. I literally JUST helped you clean the fridge. Yet apparently, I do nothing. Ok then. Cool. I had to spend my "day off" vacuuming and mopping and resisting the urge to punch something. Why can I never have a day where I can just do nothing? Maybe next week, I'll have my chance. My parents are leaving for a weekend trip from Saturday to Monday. I'll be with Erik, but I won't have to worry about my mom's bitching or keeping up on chores every spare moment I have. I took that weekend off work too. I can sleep, watch tv, enjoy anime, and take it slow. Thank Jesus. 

So, I opened Leo's gift. I smiled. I'm still smiling. He got me 3 pairs of Star Trek knee-high socks. My parents are Trekkies, and I find the show rather entertaining myself. My mom has a Bird of Prey hanging from her rear view mirror, and my dad still watches old reruns. It brought back memories of the few times we spoke about Star Trek together. And even the time Leo tried to show me Star Wars backstage before school. Then something else was wrapped up with the socks. A small keychain. It's the Gadsden flag (look it up). "Don't Tread on Me"; that phrase means a lot to me. Patriotic, and once again it brings back some memories of Leo being a crazy history nerd. Leo's keychain is going to join my house keys. I'll see it often, and have that little memory. Although, Bambi gave me a keychain also. His was of a pink horse from an Italian cartoon. Having those 2 keychains together on the same ring may be weird, but I want Leo's on there. I wonder if he reads my blog. If he does, maybe he'll see that I still have a heart. I tried to smile at him. I tried not to hurt him. I tried to be the best person I could be for him. I think I pretty much failed at everything I attempted to do. I can't fix it now. Leo, don't hold it all against me. 

Olive Branch?

School was more or less boring, so I'll cut to the chase. I saw Leo. I met up with Bambi, Kyle, and Antonio. Bambi and I went for dinner, and then met up with everyone else before the show. There were Chinese lanterns hanging from the ceiling to celebrate the Chinese New Year. We walked to where the show was being held and that's when I saw him. He was talking to someone and I blushed. Hard. I looked away and continued my conversation with Bambi. We found Kyle and got our seats. Leo was sitting in the same row as us. He looked good. More than good. I looked at him every chance I got. The play soon started, and it was actually very funny. After the play, Leo got right to work. He assisted in disassembling the stage and carrying the pieces downstairs. Bambi, Antonio, Kyle, and a few others gathered around and spoke and laughed. I participated and enjoyed seeing people. Still, I kept looking for Leo. I had to refill my water bottle, so I walked to the fountain. I saw Leo and a couple others carrying a piece of the stage. I looked at him and smiled. He and I only made eye contact 2 or 3 times, and only for a millisecond. He passed, and I returned to the gathering. I saw him a handful of times, but I remember each one. We left the school, went to the deli for a drink, then returned. As we were coming back, Leo was leaving. I gave him a big smile, as a sort of olive branch. I don't know whether he saw me or not. I watched him walk away into the night and I continued to joke around with the group. I miss Leo. I miss seeing him smile. I miss making him smile. Those times are over now, but I'll be missing them.

P.S. - I'll be opening the gift tomorrow. I have work early tomorrow morning so I just want to pass out now. Goodnight everyone. I don't say this enough, but thank you all for reading (and sometimes responding).

Freak on a Leash

After I blogged my last entry, I got out of bed (finally). I made myself an omlette that actually looked kinda good. It had cheddar cheese inside with a hint of garlic salt that I mixed into the eggs. It was great. While eating, I skyped Bambi. We talked and laughed and discussed some stuff. He said he's gonna come with me tomorrow to our old high school. They have an annual children's play, and tomorrow is the only home show. I had totally forgotten about it until last night. Bambi and I are gonna meet up for dinner then head to the show. It should be good considering the good cast. In the back of my mind, I thought of Leo. Would he be there? Am I going to see him? What is Bambi gonna do if he's there? All of these questions will be answered by tomorrow night. Anyway, the Skype call ended, and I had to get ready to go.
Before I left to meet the Kappas, I wanted to vacuum. I got a little caught up in a tv show about a murder case, so I was running late. I ran around my house vacuuming as fast as I could. I got my stuff together and left. I got to school a little late, but they didn't mind. They were all hanging out in the cafe. Jen and 2 of the Alpha girls were talking. The Alphas were the first group to enter the Kappas. Jen and I will be the Kappa class, and before us were the Iotas. I'm already starting to know some of the Greek alphabet. But I joined Jen and the Alphas. One of the Alphas is like the big mommy. She's the one who texts me about meetings, and tries to include me in a majority of the conversations. Her name is Sky. She's really nice to me, and insists on including me in everything. We all talked and eventually left for ice cream. We spent about 30mins all crowded into a small Hagen Daaz ordering ice cream. I got a caramel cone shake. It was pretty damn good. We all walked back to school to finish our treats. We got there and talked and laughed. I found myself becoming more open to talking and contributing to conversations. It was nice. While we were in the cafe, I saw Jess. I hadn't seen her in a long while, so I stopped to talk. She said that with all the sorority girls surrounding me, I looked like someone from Mean Girls. I like that movie, so I can't say I didn't like the idea. She and I talked and I realized how much I missed her weird antics. She invited me to have lunch with her and some guy tomorrow. I agreed, but only because she says he's hot. I wanna see who she's talking about, and maybe try to hook them up by suggesting a lunch date. Who knows? Anyway, I got back to the Kappas, and continued enjoying myself.
I checked the time and almost died. I was supposed to meet my mom somewhere at 8, and it was now 7:25. Fuck. I grabbed my coat, said goodbyes, and ran. I caught the train just as it pulled into the station. 50mins later, I meet my mom. Needless to say, she was pissed off. My parents have weekly therapy sessions, and she hates missing them. At least she gets therapy. I've asked for it, and what have I gotten? Nothing. She was pissed off because she couldn't keep her appointment. I felt bad, but at the same time I was confused. They couldn't go to their meeting without me being home. Why? Oh yea, because Erik can't fucking take care of himself. You have to actually tell him to shower and brush his teeth, or he won't do it. So they needed me home to watch him. I have to sacrifice parts of my life, so they can be happy. I feel like I'm still on a leash. I'm in college for fuck sake. Erik is 11, he needs to learn how to take care of himself without someone telling him what to do. Even while blogging, my mom told me to feed the cats and empty the dishwasher. Really? Can no one else do this stuff? I'm trying to go out a little more and enjoy some freedom. I want to be able to have fun without being bitched at about it. In the end, my parents still have me on their leash and pull me back whenever they find it convenient. I'm not 15 anymore. I'm 18, in college, and need some separation.

Ease In

I've been so tired as of late. My blogging seems to be suffering. I need to try to be more consistent. Anyway, after visiting with Mr. Caster the other day, I headed to school. It was Kappa Game Night. I was a little late, but they didn't mind. We played hangman and Scattergories and just hung out. I found out that there would only be 2 new pledges into the sorority. It was just me and one other girl named Jen. We introduced ourselves and kept hanging out with everyone. I feel as if I'm starting to loosen up a bit around the Kappas. This is good. Everyone decided to leave together and travel in a pack. The Kappas took the lead, and Jen and I followed. We started talking and I learned that she lives only a few blocks from school. She lives with her fiancé and her family is back in Maryland. She seems so independent. I really want to speak to her more. She's cute and very sweet. Jen and I are going to be the only 2 pledges, so I want to at least get to know her better. The group split up taking assorted trains, and I traveled with one of the Kappas solo. She was sweet. I knew her back in high school, and we were in the choir together. We knew each other, but not in detail. We chatted about the cold weather, and then separated a little while later. She took the bus, I took the train. I was exhausted going home, and I know I had school the next day. The weather was supposed to be rainy, icey and snowy, but why would my school close?
I woke up the next morning hoping for a text from the school alerting us to stay home from school. Nope. I begrudgingly started my day. The commute was normal, but wet. Puddles were feet deep, and the sludge was everywhere. I got to school, went to classes, hung out with Elijah, went to the rest of my classes, and headed home. I played Pokémon all the way home on the train. I finally have a Blastoise and Delphox. I came home, ate, watched tv, and passed out. Thrilling day, I know.
Today, I'm meeting with the Kappas again. We're all going out for an ice cream social. I love ice cream. This should go well. Hopefully this time, I can get more vocal and less shy. Wish me luck.

P.S. - After I get home, I'll be opening Leo's present. I've been ignoring it for a while, but I think I'm ready now. I know some of you guys must be curious, and frankly, so am I. Once again, wish me luck.

"I Found My Myra"

I'm doing a mid-day blog. I don't usually do this, but why not. I visited Mr. Caster today, and we watched a movie called Waterloo Bridge. This movie plucked my heartstrings and made me almost come to tears. It takes place in London when England and Germany were at war. During a London air raid, everyone rushes to an underground bomb shelter. It's there that Army Captain Roy Cronin meets ballet dancer Myra Lester. The two talk for a few brief minutes and the chemistry begins. When the raid is over, everyone leaves. Myra gives Roy a good luck charm since he will be shipping out soon. They part ways, and instantly miss each other. Roy goes to her ballet performance that night, and the two meet once again. They go out for dinner and fall even more in love. The story progresses, and after only a day or two of knowing her, Roy proposes. They go to get married, but have to wait until the next day. Before tomorrow comes, Roy is surprisingly shipped out early, and Myra isn't able to say goodbye. Myra looses her ballet job, and lives with her former ballet partner/best friend. Roy and Myra loose touch, and Myra sees in the newspaper that Roy is dead. She breaks down and gives up on life. She becomes a prostitute with her friend. After a while, Myra finds Roy while looking for clients. The two are amazed they met once again, and that he was alive. They plan to marry once again, but Myra isn't so happy. She had slept with many men for money since Roy was gone because she believed him dead. The two visit his mother in Scotland to get married at her mansion. She finally tells his mother the truth of what she had done. The mother says that she understands why she did it, but it does cause a problem. Myra makes the mother promise that she will never tell Roy. She agrees, and later that night Myra runs away back to London, unable to face Roy. Roy goes after her to London, but can't find her. She had committed suicide by jumping in front of a military truck on Waterloo Bridge (where she and Roy first met). The movie ends with an older looking Roy standing on Waterloo Bridge. He's holding the lucky charm Myra had given him when they first met. He steps into a car and the credits roll. 

I looked over and saw that Mr. Caster was tearing up. He explained to me that he and his wife loved that movie, and it hurts him to watch it without her. He went on to say that he loved it so much because "I found my Myra". He found his wife whom he loved with all his heart and soul. She died and left him feeling empty and sad. It made me sad to see him so distraught. We talked for a little bit, and he told me about the day she had died. "Her last day alive was an unusually good day." and they had gone out for lunch at their favorite restaurant. His wife had gotten a headache midday, so they took it easy and went home. She died very peacefully, and enjoyed her last day, as did Mr. Caster. It was touching to hear his story of her last day, and how he was even happy that she wasn't in pain. I want a love like theirs. Unconditional. Adventurous. Unique. Eternal. 

Essence of Snow

Buddhism class was fun. We discussed The Four Noble Truths and started to really get into the fundamentals of Buddhism. I'm really enjoying the class. I find the subject fascinating and insightful. To be honest, I think I may begin practicing Buddhism. I'm loving all of the Buddha's teachings so far, and my set of believes seems to match those of Buddhists. If I still feel this way by the end of the course, I'll be converting to Buddhism. I'm serious about this too. You aren't struggling in life to please some big god above, but rather to satisfy and better yourself as an individual. It's a very empowering religion, but also sort of confusing and depressing at parts.
After Buddhism, I headed over to my dad's office. I stepped outside and felt the cool wind blow across my face. It felt good, but sent a chill down my spine. I put my hood up and began walking. The snow is beautiful when it falls in New York. The buildings look so magical with a layer of snow on them. The pure white flakes flutter to the ground and join the chaos below. The flakes turn brown and mix with melted snow to form a fabulous coating of slush. Slush was everywhere, and some puddles were extremely deep. Luckily for me, I was wearing my boots. I trudged through the snow and sludge while looking up at the white dots falling from the clouds above. Occasionally, a small flake would hit my lips. It gracefully landed on my lip, made me feel cold, then would disappear leaving behind only a microscopic speck of water on my lips. I enjoyed the sights while walking. I got to my dad's office, and we headed home. What normally takes 1hr only look maybe 30mins. While turning to park in front of my house, my dad and I got stuck. It took us a long while, but we got unstuck. I got inside and changed into pjs. I relaxed, and that ended my day. Tomorrow I'm seeing Mr. Caster. Then at 6pm, I have a Kappa event (Game Night). I'm excited for tomorrow. Now let me enjoy sleep while I can still get it.

Rita

Was I right or was I right? Seahawks kicked ASS out there. But before the game, my great aunt came over. She's very talkative and likes to gossip about the extended family's affairs. Apparently some distant cousin of mine got engaged. In March we're all invited to a small engagement party for them. They may be getting married in London. She's Russian, and he's Scottish. I hope we can attend the wedding if it's in London. I've never been to Europe before, and I really want to see everything over there. I want to see where I came from. I'm half Swedish, a quarter Irish, and a quarter Scottish. I'm only the 2nd generation American born Swed from my dad's family. I believe I would be the 3rd generation on my mother's side. My grandparents and great grandparents came with nothing, but lived the American dream. Very inspirational if I do say so myself. Anyway, Rita left after 45mins and the game began.
I got very into the game. My dad and I were arguing with the refs foul calls and penalties. My mom joined in too adding her input. Soon the flood of food came. Chips with dip, 2 different kinds of wings, fries, hotdogs, and an assortment of toppings and sauces. The wings were amazing. I don't know how many I ate, but it was a lot. The game ended and I was satisfied. It was a good game, but it probably could have been better if the Broncos actually fought back and did something. So much for their 'great' offense. After the game, we cleaned up and I pretty much passed out.
This morning it was snowing. Again. Hard. Ugh. School wasn't canceled, so I got out of bed and went on my way. The commute was slow but I got to school on time. Health class was annoying. My professor is such a liberal. Then my psych class was canceled due to the weather. My next class isn't until 1:55, and I have nothing to do. School is closing at 3, so my 1:55 Buddhism class is my last class of the day. After that, I'm meeting my dad at his office a few blocks away and getting a ride home. I'm bored of this. I'm bored of everything.

XLVIII

I apologize for not being consistent with the blogging. Life kinda gets in the way. Friday I had school yet again. I went about my classes, and saw one of the Kappas walk by in the hallway as I was sitting in a class. She caught a glimpse of me, stopped to smile and wave, then kept going. I smiled back and continued with history class. My professor seems to be a huge JFK conspiracy theorist. It's kinda awesome. After history, I took the train. The whole way I was playing that game Flappy Bird. It makes me want to punch someone in the face. My high score is 24 so far. It isn't bad, but I wanna keep playing that stupid addicting game.
I had work on Saturday, 6-12. Bob was there per usual, so we had our banter and nonsense. Work is becoming easy and a lot less stressful. Soon, the work day was over. 6hrs of work only felt like maybe 2hrs. I got home tired, but couldn't sleep. I watched tv and passed the time until bed. I found it hard to sleep, but I did it. This morning I got up for work, and wasn't as tired as I thought I would be. By the time I got to work, Matt was there. Matt, Bob, and I all hung out and did our thing. Today is Super Bowl Sunday, so Bob said it was one of the busiest days of the year. I called bullshit, and didn't believe people stock up on bagels for a SB party. They would more likely be buying buffalo wings, burgers, hotdogs, and chips. I was wrong. Dead wrong. The store started to get busy at 7:30 and spontaneous rushes would happen. Around 9:30, we got busy for about an hour and a half nonstop. People were lined up out the door wanting bagels. It was all fairly easy and quick. Matt, Bob, Kevin, and I all moved around each other and worked in harmony (mostly). We all made passing comments about customers or annoying orders, or just shit talking each other. The rush ended, and I was relieved. My shoulder was killing me. Soon Paulie arrived, as did Joe. I was headed to the back of the store into the kitchen and I was somewhat skipping and saying random things in a melody kind of. Joe made a comment saying "Yo *Eve*, how are you always so damn happy? Even if you get here mad early, you're still happy. I don't know whether it makes me mad, or happy too". I smiled and said that being happy is how I get through the work day. When dealing with an annoying customer, sing your favorite song. Dance a little. Say strange comments. Just get the negativity out and be happy. I like to make weird noises sometimes just because I can. I'll plop some tuna onto the scale and say "SHMOOP". I'll sweep and be saying "bop boooooop boop bopppp". I'll wash dishes and just sing random melodies and substitute the real words with whatever I want. I wonder if I really do seem happy all the time. I'll to pay attention more I guess. After work, I got home and almost immediately took a shower. I felt sweaty and gross. Now I'm in my pjs blogging while my cat cuddles next to me.
Anyway, tonight is the Super Bowl. My dad is making buffalo wings and hot dogs, and our house is stocked with chips and different kinds of dip. I'm not really a fan of football, but why not watch? I may as well try to pay attention while stuffing my face with wings. I'll especially watch the commercials and the halftime show. I mean..Bruno Mars with the Red Hot Chili Peppers? What kind of strange combination is that? Let's see how this all plays out. By the way, GO SEAHAWKS!