Joy, Pain, Love

The concert was everything I imagined. The music was great, the atmosphere was perfect, and the weather was perfect. However, Bambi wasn't as thrilled. Ever since I got the tickets for the concert, he insisted on coming with me. He wasn't particularly interested in the music, but instead just hanging out with me. Kyle was also interested in going and was legitimately interested in the music, but I decided to pick Bambi just to avoid conflict. The opening band was American Authors. Their music is very upbeat and is more pop-ish than Bambi is into. Through their entire act, he sat there looking miserable and depressed. After their set was done, there was a small intermission before The Script was coming on. I asked him what he thought of the music so far, and he began to pick apart their sound system and say how crappy it was. I'm sure Bambi knows much better than professional audio engineers, right? Yea..So I told Bambi that they know best, and he continued to be very pessimistic. His attitude in general just brought my hype down. The first half of The Script performance wasn't enjoyable. I was just annoyed and put off by the fact that Bambi was being such a dick. He didn't seem to appreciate the fact I chose to bring him over someone who would have genuinely enjoyed the music. Through the whole rest of The Script, he tried cheering me up. I ignored him and let the music speak to me. I sang along and clapped and had fun. My mood was restored, and I put Bambi's actions behind me. When OneRepublic came out, I almost died. They're just so perfect. I knew every song, every beat, every word. By the end, I was feeling ridiculously happy and carefree. My mom picked us up at the end of the concert and we headed home. I passed out as soon as I got home. I had been up early for a 6-1 shift, so at that point I had been active for around 20 straight hours.
I woke up the next morning to a couple missed calls. They were from my manager. Ugh. I was supposed to be working a 11-4 shift, but I thought for sure he was calling to see if I could come in early. I ignored his calls and slept for another half hour. When I checked my phone again, I saw a text from him. He said he was giving me the day off. He knew I had a concert the night prior and I had asked to have the day off if possible. My manager said I still had to work, but he gave me a late shift (I didn't mind). I thanked him profusely for the day off. I had a horrible headache from the loud music, and was still exhausted. I ended up stopping by the shoppe anyway right before closing. I wanted to pick up some bagels, and see JP. He said he was looking forward to seeing me, but was upset when I didn't come into work. So I showed up and hung out for a bit. We ended up talking and hugging. He commented multiple times on how cute I looked. Before I left, he gave me a few cookies he had just baked (still warm) and gave me a big hug. He lifted me off the ground and spun me, then kissed my head. JP later texted me saying how me coming to visit really made his day. I really like JP, and I think I may actually be catching feelings for him.
Today was an interesting day. I spent the first half of it talking Bambi out of cutting and/or killing himself. He hadn't had a meltdown like that in a long time. He said he was pissed off and angry because I apparently treat him like shit and never admit when I'm wrong. He brought up the concert as a main focal point. Bambi insisted I was angry at him for no reason, and for simply having an opinion contradictory to my own about the music. I don't see it as such, but he thought I was being childish and stubborn. So he left school and made a pony show out of him heading home to harm himself. I spent hours trying to calm him down. I was volunteering with Mr. Caster today, but I was too busy talking to Bambi to actually pay much attention to the movie. I love watching the movies, and always put my phone on airplane mode to eliminate distraction. I was afraid if I did that today, Bambi wouldn't be there when I got back. I was able to talk him down, and watch the last half hour or so of the movie uninterrupted. I spent today also talking with JP. He suggested maybe slowing our relationship down a bit. He seems to be the one who initiates most flirting and physical interaction, but I let it be. JP seems to be very hard on himself saying that he always falls for girls that aren't right for him. He thinks I'm worth much more than what he can give right now. Putting that aside, I still love talking to him, and enjoy his company at work. I definitely like JP, there's no two ways about it. He likes me too. He said he's an impulsive person, and sometimes acts on feelings without thinking. I had a tendency to do that with Leo. I can't let that happen again. I won't let this get out of control.
Tomorrow I'm seeing Kevin. I just have to know what's going on with him. Why did he skip work with no notice? Is he going to get his job back? Can he and I still have a friendship without working together? All these questions can hopefully be answered in tomorrow's blog. Our plans for tomorrow are chill. He's going to teach me how to smoke (I'm going to smoke some pot for the *kinda* first time), then we're gonna just hang out and talk and watch movies at his place. It's weird not having him at work, and I've only spent 2 days working without him. I'm going to try and see if I can convince him to maybe come back. I need him there with me. He's my twinnie.