Hit It

Kevin picked me up around 1 today. We got in the car, and went to go buy his weed. We sat in the car waiting for his dealer to do the exchange. Kevin and I talked and laughed and joked around. I found out why he didn't come into work. Apparently his brother was on suicide watch and then disappeared. His family was in a panic searching for him, and so Kevin didn't have work as first priority. I understood his position, and he is supposedly on good terms with our boss. Kevin may be called in sometimes to fill in when needed, but nothing permanent. Our manager is more pissed off than our big boss over this. Anyway, he didn't want to talk about work, so we avoided the topic. We instead spoke of movies, music, food, and smoking. His dealer eventually came by, and we got what we needed. After the exchange, Kevin wanted to pick up some drinks for when we smoke (he said I would be thirty). I ran into the shoppe, and he bought a couple cigars to make the joint. JP was working, and I surprised him from behind. We hugged and laughed a lot and I told him I was smoking for the first time with Kevin. He didn't seem to take it as a big deal until I left. He texted me telling me to be careful, and seemed worried. JP said that Kevin told him he just wanted to "hit it" (meaning me) and nothing more. I won't lie, that kinda hurt. I told JP we were just hanging out as friends, and I didn't really like Kevin like that anymore. This was happening for a little while before I smoked. Kevin told me to search for a movie to watch while he rolled us a couple of blunts. I texted JP while he worked on the blunts. We decided to watch a bootleg copy of American Hustle. Kevin was patient and taught me how to smoke. I inhaled way too much the first time, and so I was coughing a lot. Kevin laughed and then said to go smaller. I did, and I began to feel it. Then he decided to help me shotgun. He cupped his hands, exhaled into them, then I put my mouth up to his hands and inhaled. My legs felt weird. They were attached to my body, but not. I was happy and relaxed and enjoying laying there with Kevin. The movie was kind of boring, so we changed it to Now You See Me. We were talking a bit and laughing. He had a double bed, so it was tight fitting us both. We laid close, but didn't touch sexually. Our legs and arms touched, and I heard his breathing. I kind of wanted to kiss him, and I had the opportunity many times. My mind kept going back to what JP said about him just wanting to "hit it". I didn't act on my impulses, but it seems as if JP doesn't want anything to do with me after this. He said I'm playing a game by talking to him and hanging out with Kevin. I tried to explain myself, but he said to stop texting him. I'm not going to see him or speak to him again until I work the closing shift on Saturday. I'll see if maybe I can hang out after work for a bit and talk to him about this. I like JP, a lot. But Kevin is also my friend who I like to hang out with. I think Kevin is attractive, but after hearing he just wants to "hit it", I'm not getting involved with him in a romantic way. I only hope JP and I can work this out.