Hamster Wheel

I'm not sure whether it's from my medication being out of whack or what, but I'm down. I haven't felt this disconnected in a while. I didn't do well on yet another A&P test. I studied and focused and did everything I could. I had the PowerPoints printed for each class and was always ready. I was confident about this test. I really was. He posted the grades 15mins after class ended and my world just crashed down. It isn't possible for me to recover anymore. Mathematically, it just doesn't work. I'm going to finish this out. I'm not going to quit. But I don't know where to go from here. There's a very slight chance I could make it still but given how much I already dedicate to it, I can't imagine how to get 100s, or even 90s. Josh told me that it isn't over yet and I need to keep working hard. I know he's right. I just need this internal feeling to go away. I feel disconnected and depressed and helpless. I don't know what's wrong with me but something has to change. Now.