Continental

It was finally the end of the semester. Seth and I both finished our last day of our last semester of our undergraduate careers. We went out for our usual date night once a week, but we switched it up. He decided to surprise me with a new place we hadn't gone to before. It was in the same neighborhood where my grandmother used to live before she died many years ago. I spent a lot of time in that neighborhood during my childhood. We found the restaurant and it was much nicer than the places we usually choose. He and I ordered drinks and talked for a while. We ate good food and had good conversation. I looked up at him at one point as he was eating. He had a slight smile on his face while he took a sip from his drink, and looked at me. His smile got bigger and we just stared at each other for a moment. He looked so handsome sitting there. He wore a button up and the jeans he knew I liked, and made an attempt to make his hair not as messy. The restuarant was dim, but there were string lights next to our table that cast a very pleasing light onto Seth's face. As we talked, I couldn't help but think how much I would miss those moments. I'm going to miss seeing the sparkle in his eye when our food gets to the table, and his small rants about various happenings in the world as I just sit there lovingly watching as he grows increasingly more enthusiastic as his rant continues on.
I was on my third drink, and I decided to excuse myself to the bathroom. I closed the door and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were teary, and my throat felt tight. I could feel the sadness washing over me, but I couldn't wallow for too long. I recovered my senses and returned to Seth. He told me we'd go to a bakery around the corner for dessert, and that made me happy. We ate our cake slices and talked and laughed some more. I kept looking over Seth's shoulder to see my grandmother's apartment building. I began to think how long ago my childhood really was. I'm turning 23 soon. I remember in that very apartment when I turned 10, my grandmother expressed to me how happy she was that I finally got to the double digits in age. I felt like I was really growing up. Little did I know that at a bakery down the street 13 years later I would be sitting with my lover discussing my life's failures and regrets. I wish I was 10 again. Back when I didn't have many problems yet. Life was still relatively simple. But as you grow older, you begin to see how messy and complicated life can truly be.