Unfavorable Qualities

So much for keeping this updated. I've been going through a bad depressive swing, so I'm not all here mentally. I realized that I never wrote what happened with my medical issues. After the final round of imaging, everything came back clean. The masses were nothing to be worried about. I was relieved that I could finally start to live my life again after almost 2 months of being sick. Seth has been nothing but wonderful, per usual. For the last round of imaging he came with me. He even filled out special paperwork so he could be in the room with me as I got the MRI. He sat right outside the machine by my feet and kept a hand on my right foot. He would rub it and play with my toes every once in a while to remind me that he was still there. He does so many little things just to make me happy. He surprises me with food he knows I love, he moves around various appointments if he sees I want to hang out for longer, and most recently he bought me a pair of boots yesterday.
A few days ago I got my graduate school decision via email. Seth and I were in the library together about to get a private study room so we could watch a movie together. I glanced at my phone and gasped, and he asked if the decision was in. I nodded yes and he told me to wait till we got set up in our room to open it. I could barely breathe the entire time we walked to the room and I unpacked my things. I opened my laptop and checked the email. I was rerouted to another website, and it told me to click a link to see my decision. I sat there for a solid 10 minutes venting to Seth about what will happen if I don't get in, and how I was too anxious to click it. Eventually he talked me into doing it, and I read the decision. As soon as I read "We regret...", I sat back in my chair and Seth hugged me. He said he was sorry, but I shouldn't let one rejection get me down. We talked for a little while about what it meant for my future, and what I needed to do from there. He left the room to get water, and I opened the rejection again. I read it numerous times in detail to try and see where it all went wrong. The only comment the department left on the rejection was that all slots were full for that semester. It was vague, and didn't give me any suggested areas to improve upon. Once he returned, Seth and I settled in for our movie (Christmas Story, as Seth had never seen it before). We laughed and talked, and I think he enjoyed it more than he's willing to admit.
I usually prefer to go in sequential order, but I want to end this post on a positive note. On Tuesday (before the rejection), I met Seth's family. He and I grabbed dinner, watched a terrible rendition of Little Shop of Horrors at our school, then I drove him home. I was nervous to meet his family, but it had to be done. I met his dad first, then his mom, the dogs, and finally his sister. We all sat gathered in the living room and talked for about 2 hours. I read his mother's psychology dissertation and was fascinated. She and I spoke about research logistics and other various components of psychology. I played with the three dogs all while carrying on conversation. The smallest of the dogs (a pug mix) came right over to me and plopped her head onto my lap as soon as I sat down. None of them had ever seen her be that comfortable with someone so quickly. Eventually after talking in the living room, Seth showed me his room. He had mountains of books, all meticulously kept in alphabetical order by author's last name. He's a very smart person, and so are his parents. He and his sister weren't allowed to watch TV growing up, so they spent much of their time reading, tracing maps, and watching old black and white movies. After laying on his bed and talking for a while, it was time for me to depart. Time always flies when Seth and I are together. I want very badly to go back to his house and see his family again. It felt so good to be brought into his personal life. Apparently he talks about me fairly often to his family, so they knew of me well before I came by their house. They even invited me over for Thanksgiving prior to meeting me because Seth speaks so highly of me.
It seems like the perfect situation to start to fall in love and start a relationship, doesn't it? I've met his family and they genuinely like me. He and I talk incessantly, and get lonely when the other person doesn't/can't respond. We see each other numerous times a week multiple times a day and never get bored. He treats me so well, and loves me deeply. However, loving someone and being in love are different. I'm not in love, and neither is he. It doesn't make sense as to why I'm not head over heels for him, but I'm trying not to pick at it too much. It works for us, and I don't want to ruin that with overthinking.