On a slightly different note, I've been sick for the last month or so. I started feeling extremely nauseous and under the weather but figured it was just a cold. It took me almost a week to get through it, but then I ended up getting the same kind of sickness less than 2 weeks later. I just had a doctor's appointment earlier today and he believes that the lining of my stomach is inflamed and gave me some pills to take over the next month to quell the acidity as to prevent any ulcers from forming. He took a ton of blood and is also testing for various other things like my gallbladder, pancreas, and kidneys. It'll be a few days until we get the results but I'm hoping the pills will treat the inflammation and I won't have another flare up. I fell behind on school work the first time I got sick so I can't afford that right now.
It's almost midterm week for my classes and I'm definitely feeling the pressure. I've been doing perfectly by way of assignments and quizzes, but having a full test is a completely different beast to tackle. Some of the material is incredibly confusing and dense, while other material is common sense. It's difficult to mediate the two and feel confident in my knowledge. My anxiety is definitely acting up and I'm extra glad that I have both a xanax prescription and some (medical) marijuana. I smoke every night just to cool off after my busy days. Today was technically a day off for me, but I was still running around to my doctor's appointment followed by two back to back lab meetings then driving to the pharmacy to get my prescription, then completing and submitted an assignment a week early so I can enjoy my weekend. I really want to have a weekend where I don't have to worry about deadlines and due dates and bullshit. I'll still be studying and putting some work in, but I need some time to just stop and breathe. A possible cause of my stomach issues could be stress. Way back in December when I had a full CBC done they found that my stress levels were potentially causing internal physiological problems. I've always worked myself to the limit and beyond, and it sucks because my body can't keep up with what I need it to do. I try to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night to offset the stress but it still gets to me. Seth and Josh both worry about me working too much, but I enjoy it. Keeping busy allows me to distract myself from the depression I tend to get. I'm on an antidepressant but pills don't always hold the golden ticket to happiness. Tonight is one of those nights where I need to smoke, relax, and let me mind slip away to another place without anxiety or stress. I've been meaning to get back into yoga, so maybe I'll try some poses and get nice and zen, then sleep for 9 hours.
These aren't necessarily songs I find relaxing, but more so just fun and enjoyable. I may or may not have danced around in the kitchen to some of these gliding in my socks. As always, I'm hoping to introduce you to new music, whether it's a new artist or just a new song you've never heard before. Put on your headphones and enjoy.
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