Stressed Bee

Once again, I've been a busy bee. The night at Kyle's was great. Kyle's boyfriend was there, and so was their friend Rich. Rich and I had never hung out before, but I know that a few years ago he disliked me. One of my ex-boyfriends was a friend of Rich's, so when I dumped my ex, Rich thought I was a mean person. However, we hit it off when we were at Kyle's house. We made jokes and laughed a lot. We got along. All of us played D&D for about 6hrs then headed to bed. Kyle and Jeremy slept in the same bed. Rich slept alone, and so did I. I was jealous of Kyle. He got to be close and intimate with his partner. I wanna have that with Bambi one day. The next morning, Roch went home and I invited Bambi over to Kyle's. We all played videogames together then we split. Bambi and I went to KFC and talked. Then we went to a deli for bagels (as if I don't get enough bagels at work). It was nice. I love him. Soon I went home and fell asleep. I was exhausted.
I woke up this morning around 10, messaged Leo and Bambi for a bit, then fell asleep. I woke up at 1:30. I needed to be leaving my house at 2. I took a quick shower and ate a couple White Castle burgers, then headed out with my mom. She was showing me how to get into the city and my college using the bus and subway. I think I know what I'm doing now. I think. Let's hope I don't get lost on my way to school. We went there and came back. I've been helping Leo write an essay for the last few days. It's for his military academy application. I'm editing and critiquing it for him to help improve the essay. I proofread it for the second time after he corrected it. We spoke on the phone for a bit then hung up. I played a little Xbox with Bambi and now I'm finally in bed. Exhausted. Again. I'm waking up at 9am so I can Skype with Leo in the morning. I hope he won't mind my looking like a zombie. Tomorrow is my last day off till college starts. In between my first day of college and now, I'm off tomorrow, then working Saturday and Sunday. Busy bee. Stressed bee.

R&R and D&D

Today was my first day back at work. I closed by myself. Just me and Albert. It was kinda lonely. However, the customers showed me some love. A lot of them actually noticed my 2 week absence. They asked if I was OK and if I went on a vacation. I told most of them that I was just sick for a bit. The regulars heard the full story of my neck injury. They sympathized with my situation and wished me well. It was sweet.
My dad drove me home from work and I laid on my bed, totally naked. I was sweaty and wanted to cool down. For 20mins I stayed like that until I had to get dressed and leave again. I had physical therapy today. My therapist did an evaluation on me. Apparently I have a couple knots in my neck/shoulder which can cause severe pain and spasms. I was hooked to an electrode machine for 15mins and then I did stretches. I have to do neck stretches 3x a day. Ugh. It's annoying but I want to make myself better. My neck apt is Friday evening. I'm kinda hoping for a massage. It sounds relaxing.
Tomorrow I have work again. At least I'm working with someone though. I'm closing witIh Ray. I haven't seen him in over a month so it'll be nice catching up. After work, I'm coming home and relaxing for a bit. Around 8 I'm heading to Kyle's house for a party. Us and a few of his friends are playing Dungeons and Dragons (Zelda version). I hope to enjoy myself. I could use some rest and fun before school begins (8 days).

Eggplant Parmesan

Today was a family adventure. My mom decided to take us to a farm out on LI and let us pick our own vegetables. The ride was a little over an hour. I spent most of my time listening to music and talking to Leo. We got to the farm and it was beautiful. Blue skies above, open fields in front of us, and dirt roads under our feet. It was warm but there was a nice breeze to keep us cool. We headed for the fields. First, we picked eggplants; 3 huge ones. Then we went on to the peppers. There were so many types. We finished with tomsatoes. All of our fresh veggies cost us only $20. Before we left, we stopped by the barn to pick up other things we wanted (onions, corn, lettuce, cheese...). We then headed home.
On the way home, we stopped at GameStop. Erik needed Microsoft points and a new headset. My mother and I waited in the car while the boys shopped. They emerged with a Turtle Beach headset. I don't know if I have any serious gamers in the audience, so I'll explain. Turtle Beachs are one of the best brands of headphones for serious gamers. This pair cost $60. A $60 headset for a 10yr old. Yea. That makes sense. I questioned my dad and eventually struck a deal. I give my old headset to Erik, and I get the Turtle Beachs. Great deal. I didn't even have to pay (I offered to pay him the money back, but my dad declined).
After GameStop, we went home and the cooking began. My mother showed me how to make Eggplant Parmesan. We make 2 batches of it. We cooked together and had fun. The food came out delicious. We all ate and enjoyed it. After dinner, we just relaxed. Eventually, Erik went to sleep and I got to try my new headset. It took me a while to figure it out, but I got it up and running. They're so comfortable and cool looking. It just has soooo many wires. Anywho, now I'm in bed. I'm exhausted. I have work tomorrow. I'm finally getting myself back to normal. I'm still on some medication, but I should be OK to work. I'm only working one early shift which is good. Life is slowly getting back to 'normal'.

Pitfalls

I found out why Bambi was upset. It was me. All the little things I did pissed him off. From the way I praised bow ties (he hates them), to how I called a color Coral instead of Pink. He just got pissed off and when I tried talking to him, he snapped at me. I decided to just stop talking to him. I ignored his texts. I tried to absorb myself in the tv and not think about it. As soon as I got enveloped in the television, I heard a bang coming from upstairs. I muted the tv and listened. I heard arguing. It was my parents. This is the last thing I needed to hear. My parents screaming and cursing at each other. I went upstairs and slammed their door shut as loud and hard as I could. The screaming paused for a moment then resumed. I went back downstairs to try and drown out my life. I texted Bambi back. We continued to argue until 3am. I gave up and turned off my phone.
I slept until noon. I woke up, washed my face and listened to the silence. No one was home. I turned my phone on and saw Bambi had texted me a lot. I ignored him. I went online and browsed the web. My dad came home and made me soup. Green pea soup with hot dogs in it. I  picked out the hot dogs and ate as much as I could stomach. It was gross. My dad said it was a childhood favorite of his. I guess he was a strange child. Anyway, I ate then began chores. I did the dishes and dusted. Now I had to empty a huge break-front cabinet we have in my dining room. I spent over an hour taking everything out and organizing it. We have a lot of expensive old china, Waterford Crystal glasses, and antiques. I probably handled thousands of dollars worth of nonsense. It was exhausting and annoying. After I emptied the whole case, my parents moved it to another room. Then I had to put all the shit back into the case. I brought the stuff handful by handful while my mother put it inside. When I was finished, I sat on my couch and saw Bambi had sent me a picture of himself in a bow tie. Today was his training. I had almost forgotten. I started to text him. It was awkward. It still is. However, he told me that he needed to cut his hair for the job. He has long curly hair, but he keeps it pulled back into a ponytail. I call it his poof. I got really sad and thought about how different he would look with short hair. Then he told me he was only kidding. Thank god. One of the things I love about him is his crazy hair. He and I seem to be talking normally now. Not as angry or vindictive as before. He wants to call me and tell me about his training day. He sounds anxious about it. I hope he enjoyed it. No matter how angry I get at him, I always find myself loving him more and more each day.

Ups and Downs

I've been busy I guess. Lots of people coming and going from my house. My brother's friends, Bambi, and NUMEROUS contractors (we're getting a whole new kitchen and dining room).
Bambi came over on Wednesday. We met in front of my house and we walked to my neighbors house. We held hands and smiled and talked. We let the dog out and sat down. I put my legs on him and we talked, nothing sexual. We let the dog in and headed home. I made us each a bowl of chicken ramen. He showed me how to cook ramen the "right way" and we laughed together. I felt like a married couple (I know, that sounds dumb). We ate together and talked. Then we went and watched Youtube videos on the Xbox. Our bodies were intermingled and we were laughing nonstop. My parents came home and we watched tv with my mom. Dinner came soon and we had burgers. My parents ignored Bambi and I. They paid more attention to my brother and his friend. Oh well. We ate and then watched more tv. Bambi's father came and picked him up a little while after dinner. He and I didn't do anything sexual, and maybe kissed a handful of times. Yet, we both had so much fun just enjoying each other's company. I really see myself being in a stable relationship with Bambi.
Anywho, the next day, I invited Leo to come over. He met me in front of my house in his BSA uniform and we walked to my neighbors house for the dog. We talked and laughed. When we were in private inside the house, he wanted to get touchy and hug me. I hugged him but I wouldn't let it go further. We just continued talking and catching up. We soon left the house and I walked him to the bus stop. We waited and waited but every bus passed us by. Jerks. I felt bad but I had to leave him there alone. The last thing I needed was for my brother to tell my mom I disappeared for too long. I went home and relaxed. I enjoyed the time with Leo. It was nice to be able to talk and catch up. I spent that night on the phone with him for 3 1/2hrs as well. The conversation started happy but took a turn. I told him about how I hung out with M and that I actually liked her a lot. He seemed upset about it. We both brought up more serious topics like college, his senior year, the military, and our ex-lovers. Eventually, we got tired and said goodnight. I stayed up for a good 2hrs after we hung up. I just thought about my future, Bambi, Leo, my family, and the military. My mind wouldn't shut up. However, I eventually went to sleep.
I woke up this morning and felt good. I have no idea why, but I went on with my morning. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. For the first time in over a week, I was able to brush my hair. I had a date. Bambi and I were going out to lunch and see a movie. I met him at Applebee's and we ordered the usual green bean crispers and an entrée. I had pre-ordered movie tickets so we could skip the line. We arrived to the movie and they asked us for ID. It was a rated R movie so we need to be 17 or older (which we are). The guy said he needed ID or we couldn't see the movie. We don't have city, state or federal IDs so we were screwed. I had already paid for the tickets and wanted to get my money back but they needed my debt card. It was home. Of course. There were also no other movies we wanted to see. So he gave me the tickets and said that I could come back within a month and see a movie for free using those tickets. Fine. We left the theater and headed to a GameStop. I bought Pokemon White I and then went to Hagen Daaz. We had ice cream and decided to head to my house. We hung out at my house and played Pokemon together at my dining room table. Nerd love. We sat outside and waited for his parents to come. They were going to get vests, shirts and bowties for the training tomorrow at the catering hall. I was coming along. His parents showed up and we got into the car. That's when Bambi changed. He got silent and depressed looking. He wouldn't speak to anyone. Antonio and I talked instead. We discussed college and Pokemon and other assorted things. Bambi was quiet. We went shopping and Antonio and I were fooling around with some tags on the hangers. Bambi was quiet. His mother and I talked about a pair of earrings. Bambi was silent. Antonio and I continued to playfully bicker and talk. Bambi didn't say a word. We decided to go to a diner. We all sat and talked and ate and were happy. Bambi didn't participate. His mom asked him a question and he ignored her. It started to annoy me at how cold he was being. In the car ride back to my house, he reclined in the backseat and ignored everyone. He went from being sociable and laughing to silent and depressed. I don't understand. What happened? Was it me?

To the Future and Beyond

I guess I haven't been blogging recently on account of my boring life in the last few days. Take pills, lay on the couch, watch TV, and sleep. The days just blend together sometimes.
However, today was different. I had my follow-up appointment with the doctor, and Bambi had his job interview. My appointment came first. The doctor was glad to see that I'm feeling better, however, I still have lack of motion, pain and stiffness. He prescribed me an anti-inflammatory/pain killer. Yet another pill to take. My last dose of the steroids was today, but I still need to take the Oxy if I have discomfort. I had to schedule a physical therapy session too. I'm supposed to have 3 or 4 sessions then revisit the doctor to see if anything else is needed. My first session is on Monday. I hope all goes well.
Now, onto Bambi news. He and his brother both got the job. They will both be busboys and make about 50¢ more than minimum wage. They go for training on Saturday. I'm excited for the both of them. They both needed/wanted jobs. I'm so proud of them.
Tomorrow, I see Bambi. He's coming over at noon. My neighbors are away on vacation so I'm going over to their house to feed/walk their dog. I'll bring Bambi with me. We will have the house to ourselves. Maybe something will happen, maybe it won't. I'm excited to see him though. He had to shave almost all of his beard for the interview. I wonder how it looks...

Let's Get It Started

Last night, Leo and I spoke on fb. He was worried about my neck and the amount of medication I'm taking. He started getting a little too smothering, so I had to once again remind him that I'm with Bambi. He got upset and logged off soon after I told him I was happy with Bambi. I felt bad for upsetting him but I can't just let him proceed as if I'm his girlfriend, or a potential mate. I'm happy with Bambi. Very happy. Leo still has yet to talk to me all day. He's probably still upset. I feel terrible for hurting his feelings but he needs to remember I'm taken. Maybe I'm just a bitch. But I've made this clear before. I don't know.
Anyway, today was very boring. I just took my pills and was drowsy all day. I was lonely and told Bambi I missed him. He called me and we spoke for over an hour. He toured his college today. A trade school for audio engineering. He's very excited about it. He's going full time so he has class 5 days a week for 3hrs straight. It has all new studios and equipment. He also has a job interview on Tuesday. It's at a catering restaurant. He'll be making $50 for every party he works. There are 1-3 parties a day. He could be making a lot of money at this job. The more money he makes, the more likely it is that he and I can move in together. He's excited to start his life. I'm excited to start my life too. Hopefully someday soon, we can start our lives together.

My Best Friend

Bambi came over today. It made me so happy. I greeted him in PJs, nappy hair and gauze around my neck. He still thought I looked beautiful. He came inside, I ate, and took my oxy. Then we talked and decided on what to do. We went to my room and just laid down. We talked and laughed. He rubbed my feet and decided to paint my finger nails. It was his first time painting nails so it was funny watching him try. He took his time and did a decent job. I thought it was sweet that he painted them for me. I felt pampered. I was fooling around a bit and tried putting a bra on him. It didn't fit but I showed him how I put one on. He started feeling my sbreasts and we got horny. My neck is obviously bad so I couldn't do much. Instead, he focused on me. He went down on me for 45mins and made me feel amazing. He hugged me and I felt so happy. He sat on my bed, and I sat on his lap. He was shirtless and I was pantless. We were just kissing and talking and hugging. I felt so close to him. I appreciated all he did for me today. He knew I was limited in what I could do. He pampered me and made me feel happy. We goofed around and were silly. Today he didn't just feel like my boyfriend. He felt like a best friend. I'm going to see if he can come over on Monday. I can't go anywhere while on these medications. It will be nice he can come over again. We'll hang out and watch a movie or something. All I know is that I feel so much happier with him by my side.

All Drugged Up

After a day of suffering, and a night of excruciating pain, I needed to see a doctor. My dad took today off work and called an orthopedic doctor. I was able to somehow magically get a last minute appointment. I was nervous all day. I didn't know what to expect. We were in the waiting room for a while then I went in. After a couple xrays, the doctor spoke to me. I had apparently strained my neck pretty bad. He gave me a few prescriptions. I'm currently on Oxycodone, Litocaine patches, steroids, and Valium. After taking an oxy for the pain, I see why people get addicted to it. It makes you feel happy, out of pain, and borderline drunk. However, I'm happy. I can actually lay down without being in pain. I have to continue the medications until Tuesday (4 days). On Tuesday, I'm doing a followup appointment to see if I need physical therapy for it. I'm so fucking fragile.
I had to call Jeff too. I can't work. I'll see what the doctor says on Tuesday, but until then, I'm out of commission. He was understanding and asked if I was OK. I was afraid he would be mad. So until further notice, I can't work. I have to bum around my house all drugged up. Bambi is coming over tomorrow. He's going to keep me company while I stay around the house. Hopefully it'll be fun. I don't want to be in pain. I also don't want to get all loopy on oxy. Ugh. Fucking neck. Oh well. Let's hope my neck stops being a bitch.

Limits

I've been having bad migraines for the last few days. I cant look at bright lights and hear loud sounds. My neck has also been hurting but I thought I just slept on it funny. Last night it got worse. I sat in the dark for hours because I couldn't be in a light room. When I tried to sleep, my neck kept hurting. I slept a bit but woke up around 6:30am. I couldn't get comfortable. Even turning over in bed became difficult for me. Around 8am I tried to get up from bed. I couldn't. It felt like someone was jabbing a knife into my neck when I would try to sit up. I struggled for 20mins. Eventually I just had to suck it up. I sat up and cried from the pain. What is wrong with me? This is not normal. My neck was throbbing then I heard my mom come down the stairs from her room. I thanked god she was home. I told her I wanted to go to a doctor. She checked it out herself and asked me questions. She said I have Sciatica. Since I've been working several long shifts lately, my body isn't happy. For some reason, something is pressing against the nerve. My mom said to walk around a bit and try heating pads. I've never felt this kind of pain. I can't lay down. I can't swallow without wincing. I can't look left and right. I can't enjoy my days off work. Why does this have to happen to me?

Left Out. Again.

Today was my day off. I slept till around 9:30am then got out of bed. I heard the TV on downstairs. Erik was home. Why? It was raining. So I had to watch Erik and deal with him screaming at a video game screen. Great. I just drowned him out with anime. I finished an anime and cried. It brought back thoughts of how I graduated from high school. It made me sad.
I watched more anime and my mom came home. She said Bambi's mom sent her a text asking if I could go with them on a weekend trip to PA. Bambi had mentioned it to me a few days ago and said it was in a couple weeks. Bambi's mom said it was this weekend coming up. My mom said I could go. Sounds perfect, right? Nope. Bambi didn't tell me ahead of time so I didn't ask my boss for the weekend off. I'm working Saturday and Sunday 6-1. I can't go on the trip because Bambi didn't give me dates. He said it was in a few weeks. So I could have gone. My parents both said yes. However, I'm working. I would try to ask for the days off but I can't. Billy left already, Joey is leaving in a few days, and Jena isnt back yet. It's just me and Ray as the day workers. I can't leave Jeff more understaffed than he already is. I can't go on vacation with Bambi and his family because of Bambi. He didn't give me advanced noticed. I feel left out. Everyone is enjoying their summer but me. I'm alone. Working. Watching my brother. Being lonely.

Bye Bye Billy Bagels

Today was Billy's last day at the bagel shop. I enjoyed the last work day with him and tried to smile. I got 3 missed calls last night at 1:30am from Kyle. It scared me. There was a voicemail from his friend telling me to call him. I thought that something happened to Kyle. I didn't have a chance to call him until around 11:30am when things at work slowed down from the morning rush. I was worried all day about what was going on. I called him and it turns out Kyle was only drunk last night. I was so worried. I guess I'm kinda protective of him. Anyway, after I called Kyle, I got back to work. We all hung out and talked. It was me, Billy, Joe and Paulie. Bambi showed up at the end of my shift and it was time to leave. I said goodbye to everyone and hugged Billy. He wished me luck in college and I told him to come back and visit sometime. I somewhat doubt I'll ever hear from Billy Bagels again. He's just another friend I've lost in the process of life.
After work, Bambi and I rushed to my house and I changed into a coral sun dress for the wedding picnic. It was casual so I decided on a flowy knee-length dress with gladiator sandals. I got dressed (quickly) and rushed out the door. We were stuck in traffic for at least an hour before we got to the park where the party was held. Bambi and I got food when we got there (we were both starving). We found a nice picnic bench away from the crowd. We ate and laughed and talked. My brother soon joined us and kinda cock-blocked. Oh well. My brother and Bambi played catch. It made me smile. Bambi would make a good father some day. We continued to eat and drink and laugh. I talked to the groom for a bit and Bambi socialized. We moved onto the swings. He pushed me and gave me a cute smile. I love him so much. Before we knew it, it was time to leave. On the way home, we stopped at a diner. My parents (mainly my mom) shared some embarrassing childhood stories of me with Bambi. Ugh. Parents. So after dinner, we dropped Bambi off and headed home. After such a long day, I'm exhausted. It's been both mentally and physically draining. Oh well. Such is life.

Can I Please Sit Down for a Moment?

Today I got to sleep in. It was nice. I started my morning with anime. What a great way to begin the day. Work went well. It was my last time closing with Billy. Tomorrow is his last day, then he moves to Florida on Thursday. I'll really miss him. The way he jokes around and makes light of every situation. He's always singing or dancing or doing something silly. For a couple customers today, he used a bad British accent. It made me almost laugh in a customer's face. I really will miss him. Tomorrow I get to work with him for a few more hours, then I won't see him unless he visits NY. No more Billy Bagels.
After work tomorrow, Bambi is meeting me then I'm going home to change. We have a wedding reception to attend. My family is going and I'm taking Bambi as my date. It's in the park so I'm going to wear a coral sundress with cute sandals. I just hope I have enough energy to keep myself going. Waking up at 5:30, working 7hrs, rushing home to change and powder my nose, then going to a party till 6pm......quite a busy day ahead of me..yet...I'm not asleep

It's Official!

I worked early today. Bob and I were alone for 4hrs until Billy came. It's official. Bob likes me. He uses please and thank you. He helps me with customers and gives me advice. He makes jokes and seems to tolerate me. This is awesome. To be honest, I feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. Now I don't have to dread the early shifts as much.
After work, I came home and melted my brain with anime. About 6hrs of it. I'm halfway through the anime, and I'm obsessed. I love relaxing with anime. It's how I wind down. Now I'm about to pass out. I'm exhausted and didn't sleep much last night (maybe 4hrs). I get to sleep in till 9:30 tomorrow. Thank goodness. Now excuse me while I make sweet dream love to my bed....

Enjoyable Days

I tried posting this yesterday, but it didn't go through. Let's try again.
Yesterday, I was supposed to hang out with Kristen (a childhood friend of mine) and M (Leo's ex). Kristen canceled on us that morning. M asked me if I still wanted to go with her to lunch. I had never been alone with M for a long period of time before. It may also be awkward since she was Leo's ex. I thought about it for a second, then said yes. I headed out to the mall and met M for sushi. We talked and laughed and enjoyed each other's company. The conversation never stopped. After lunch, we went to a DSW shoe store. I had never been there before so she wanted to show me all the expensive shoes. We went to the store and looked at accessories. We mocked the crazy prices and tried on different hats and belts. We moved onto the shoe section. We both tried on 6in heels with platform soles. We waddled in the shoes and laughed. We criticized the prices and designs. I needed a new bag, so we moved onto the bags. Once again, outrageous prices. Time flew by as M and I hung out. I ended up buying a belt then rushed home. I loved hanging out with M. It was fun. Now the question remains: should I tell Leo I hung out with his ex..and liked it?

Now, today's post!
So, Bambi came over today. I told him yestgerday that I wasn't inviting him over to have sex. I just wanted to hang out. He came over around 11:30 and I made him ramen. We ate and talked. Then, we watched The Purge (a movie I've been wanting to see for a while). Toward the end, he got a little frisky. After the movie ended, we moved upstairs. We made out and I ended up naked. I didn't intend for this to happen, but it did. After all, we are horny teenagers. He went down on me and I went down on him. We had fun. I was exhausted and he rubbed my back. I was still naked and he told me to go onto my stomach. He used lotion and gave me a massage. It was amazing. It was so intimate and romantic. We got horny again and decided to have sex. It hurt. But I promised him I wouldn't give up like last time. I endured it and the pain went away after a while. He came and then collapsed onto my bed next to me. We were both a sweaty mess. I offered a shower and he agreed. I gave him a frog shower cap and he looked adorable. We showered together and talked. Nothing sexual. We each dried off and got dressed. He left about 20mins later. It really was the perfect day with the perfect guy.
Tomorrow I'm working 6-12. Ugh. A great day followed by a stressful day. Oh well. Today was great. Hopefully my happiness and tranquility from today will be carried into tomorrow. God willing.

Love and Marriage

The early shift today was crazy. Who would think a Tuesday morning is bsusier than a weekend? There were constant lines of people and annoying orders. I messed up a few times. I usually don't mess up much but I was tired. The day went slow at timees, but eventually ended. I took a Snapple, bagel, and cookies home with me. I listened to Frank Sinatra on my way home. I came home, took my shoes off and went online. I watched an anime for a bit. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I'm a little bit of an Otaku. An anime always makes me happy. So I watched and got kinda into it. Then I listened to music and looked up some info on the Air Force. Apparently it takes a lot to get into the Air Force. Is this really something I want to do?
My brother got home, soon followed by my parents.
After they went to bed, I Skyped Bambi. He's been upset lately. His father has recently spoken of divorcing his mom. He's not taking it well at all. They're not getting divorced, but his father was saying things like "Don't be surprised if we get a divorce". His mom found porn on his dads phone and got upset. Bbi and I trade porn sometimes so its not a bog deal to us, but I can see why his mom would be mad. Anyway, the point is that Bambi's parents have been fighting a lot. I don't think they'll get a divorce. They aren't going to give up on each other. I know them well enough to say that they will stay strong together. I hope.
Tomorrow I'm going to be hanging out with M (Leo's ex) and Kristen (a childhood friend of mine). We haven't seen each other all summer so we're meeting at our favorite sushi place for lunch. We'll hang out, eat and window shop at the mall across the street. I think it should be fun. My mom doesn't know I'm going out. I told her that I'm working tomorrow so she wouldn't question what I did all day. It's a genius plan. So that's the plan for tomorrow. Now I get to sleep. Oh bed. I've missed you so much...

Maybe He Likes Me...

I made an impulse decision. I messaged Jojoe on fb. At first he was willing to talk, but then got angry and annoyed. He said to leave him alone. Once again, I fucked up. Maybe I'll try again in a few months. In the mean time, let me try to forget this ever happened.
The next morning, I had the early shift. Bob and I were alone for a bit before LD came. LD is always the divider between Bob and I. However, Bob was actually being nice. Instead of telling me to do something, he would ask. He bumped into me a few times and even said sorry. I thanked him for helping me with customers and was polite as I could be. Maybe he's starting to like me. I even messed up a couple orders and he didn't say anything. Usually he would be picking on me and insulting me. This time, he said nothing. It was a pleasant surprise. Work went by quick, thank god.
I got home and my mom asked me to make me a bagel. Bitches be funny. I just sat down with my corn muffin and diet peach Snapple and started eating. She looked annoyed but I didn't care. I finished eating and she offered to take me out to get a manicure with her. I agreed. We talked and had fun. We got home and I turned on my laptop. I've been getting obsessed with Sims 3. I made a character for Bambi and I. We live together, just how I want it to be. It's like living out my ideal future. So I played for a few hours then ate dinner. Then I went back to playing. I eventually turned it off and watched TV with my mom. She went to bed, and I played Xbox.
I talked to Bambi for a few hours. I've been feeling so in love with him lately. I've had dreams of him proposing and us having a family. I love him so much. He really is my everthing.
Anyway, I'm working 3 early shifts in the next week. Ugh. I'm working one tomorrow. Bob won't be there. Just me and LD. It should be OK I think. I'm taking advantage of the day I have off now. I'm gonna sleep, play the Sims, and sleep some more.

Forgetful Me...

I almost forgot. I didn't mention the dream I had last night. It was so random and bizarre.
Remember Jojoe? He and I stopped talking a while ago. He crosses my mind every now and then but I don't dwell on him. However, last night I had a dream about him. He came over to my house and we were in the middle of having sex when my parents came home. I told him to hide behind my bed and I threw a blanket and pillow over him. My parents didn't notice. I told him to leave through the window but before he could get out, my dog smelled him and started barking. This alerted my parents and we were caught. I was trying so desperately to find an excuse. I was about to say something but then my alarm went off and I woke up. It was a strange dream. But maybe it means something. Maybe I should message him and say hello. Any opinions?

Can I Help You?

I worked both yesterday and today. It was okay I guess. Today I didn't want to work. I was kinda tired. Bit I pushed through the work day. I kept happy by humming various Frank Sinatra songs. I was cleaning the glass display cases when a customer came in. I turned around and asked how I could help them. Leo just smiled and asked if we had coffee left. That's right. Leo. He left camp a day earlier than he was supposed to and came to visit me. He's transferring camps so he would only be off one day, maybe even less. But he left his boyscout camp early to surprise me. I was shocked to see him. I was shaking and my heart skipped a beat. Why was I this excited and happy? I've been trying to distance myself from him. I guess it isn't working. I love him. I can't change that. We chatted for a little while then he ordered a bagel. Cinnamon raison with jalapeño cream cheese. Strange combination, but I made it for him. He took a small coffee too. I kept smiling. I can't believe he took a bus to my job and inconvenienced himself. He looked kind of different too. He had a tan and more facial hair. God. I missed him. He stayed there in the store for a little bit and we talked. Then he left. I had work to do, and he had a bus to take. I couldn't stop thinking about how he came to see me. A few minutes after he left, he came back. He needed change for the bus. It made me laugh. He's so ditsy sometimes.
I continued my work day and went home. He and I are talking on fb. He says it was so good to see me. That he missed me. He said he felt happy when he saw me. He's so sweet. Tomorrow I'm working 6-1. Long shift, but who knows? Maybe Leo will show up again. He's always finding ways to keep me on my toes.

Laptops and Cloisters

The sleepover with Kyle was fun. We compared laptops and he showed me some gaming sites. He had me download Steam and Origin. I got the Sims 3 and Minecraft (I was leary about the latter). We ended up playing Minecraft with Kyle's boyfriend till 5am. The game actually wasn't bad. Maybe I'll be playing it more often. I still haven't tried Sims, but I've always been a fan of the Sims francize.
Anyway, the next day, we went to our friend George's hot tub. I bought a sports bra and track shorts for it. I forgot my bikini at home. But we got there and hung out. It was me, Kyle, Megan, Bambi and George. We all got into the tub and hung out. After maybe 2hrs, we got out. We ordered Dominos pizza and waited for it to come. Bambi and I changed into normal clothes. We weren't going back in the tub. Soon the pizza came, and so did Jeremy (Kyle's boyfriend) and Antonio (Bambi's brother). Bambi and I ate alone inside. He said it meant a lot to him that I ate inside with him. He and I laid on the couch and talked. He rubbed my feet and we watched YouTube videos. It was nice. Then it was time to go. When we went outside, everyone was in the hot tub. I said goodbye and headed home.
The next day, my dad and I spent together. He took me to this museum called the Cloisters. There was lots of art from the 13-15th centuries. We saw statues and paintings and plants and tapestries. It was nice just hanging out with him. We haven't had a Daddy-Daughter day in years. After the museum, we went to a hot dog place. We both drank a cream soda and talked about the food. After being out for about 6hrs, we headed home. He fell asleep on the couch and I played Sims on my laptop. I really enjoyed the day with him.
I talked to Leo as well. He was using his friend's smartphone to text me. We talked for about an hour then he had to go. After he left, I went on Xbox. Bambi and I talked and hung out. Around 1am I logged off and went to bed.
Now I'm under the sheets not wanting to get up for work. My shift is 12-4 today. Not bad. But I still don't feel like working.
Also on a side note, I apologize for not updating as frequently as I used to. I guess the summer keeps me busy. I'll be working on writing more. I promise.