Monti 506

I don't even know where to begin. So many things have happened, and so many chapters have ended. My life is no where near where I saw it being a year ago. A year ago I was pregnant, dealing with JP, failing in school, and feeling so overwhelmed by my life. Now I'm happy, confident in my studies, have an amazing new boyfriend, and trying to begin the latest and greatest chapter in my life.
I was hospitalized in August for 6 days. During that time, I was isolated from the world. I didn't see the sun or trees or feel the breeze on my face. I was in the bed next to the hallway, right by the nurse's station. I was hooked up to various IVs, had an oxygen feed into my nose, and experienced what it was like to lose total sense of what day or time it was. In a hospital, 4am is the same as 4pm. I never got more than 4hrs of continuous sleep. JP was there by my side. He slept there almost every night in the chair next to my bed. I'd fall asleep cuddling his arm and wake up to the nurse asking me for vitals. I would watch him sleep as I was poked with needles and given more stinging fluid in my IV. Somehow, watching him sleep comforted me. Those are the only memories I tried to remember of him. The good ones. However, even in the hospital he found ways to hurt me. He was convinced I had gotten sick from someone else and that it couldn't have possibly been him. I had gotten a UTI, but had no symptoms. Because of this, it wasn't treated. It got worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore. JP was positive I had slept with some "dirty dick nigga" who gave me something. We got into multiple fights about it while I was in the hospital. But the worst one was when he stormed out of the room and threw something at me. It hit me in the face and made my nose bleed. I waddled to the bathroom with my IV pole in hand and just sat there, terrified he'd come back and hurt me again.
As time went on, the relationship only got worse. He had no faith in me, and I had too much faith in him. What ended our relationship for good was when I found out he had slept with someone else while also sleeping with me. He lied about it, and denied it until the end. Sometimes, you just have to give up on people. They end up hurting you more than helping you, and it sucks. We officially ended somewhere in February. What we had for the last couple of months wasn't even a relationship anymore. It was just friends who fucked. It became so meaningless to me.
I decided that I needed to leave all of the dead weight behind and start on my new life. I met this amazing guy, Josh. He's the sweetest, funniest guy in the world. He has such nice eyes and a smile that's infectious. We've only known each other for a couple weeks at this point, but we just click so perfectly. We have so much in common, it's mind-blowing. My parents seem to be ok with him so far, but they haven't met him in length yet. There's nothing about him they could possibly dislike. He lives across state lines, but it isn't very far at all. He's come to me, and I've gone to him. All I know is that I'm happier than I've been in a very long time. I'm working towards my nursing degree, have an amazing new guy in my life, and I just feel positive. Some parts of your life are always going to live deep in your heart and mind, but never forget that the past is the past. The past helped you grow, and the future entices you to keep moving onwards and upwards.