Love Yourz

I had my first sleepover ever alone with a boyfriend. We left work in the city a little early and drove back to his house where we picked up his nephew and went bowling. It was late by the time we got home, so I showered quickly and got into bed with him. I was afraid I'd be cold, because I'm always cold. But I guess I underestimated the body heat. It was an intimate night. He fell asleep first, and I listened to him softly breathing. Then I looked at him and put my nose gently against his, and I watched him sleep for a little while. It took some time to get adjusted to the new environment, but I eventually passed out. I was told I sleep like a "spider monkey". I had my legs draped over his and cuddled as close as I could into his chest. He said he had actually kissed me a few times in my sleep, but I guess I was too exhausted to notice.
We got up bright and early, and left his house around 7am to get to his law school orientation. It was a big day for him. I sat through 3hrs of legal lectures that made no sense to me. I guess he could see how tired and bored I was there, so he decided to skip the rest of the day and leave early with me to get lunch on our own. We went to a bbq place close by and had our usual fun lunch dates. I still feel a little full from that meal. Him leaving that day early meant a lot to me. I didn't ask for it. I signed up to spend the full 8-ish hours there with him. He decided I was more important than the boring formalities of an orientation. I was happy but still felt a little guilty. That was his chance to meet some of the people in his class and he chose me instead. Bittersweet, but more sweet.
Taking the train home gave me time to think and listen to music. A song came on called Love Yourz by J. Cole. It really hit me hard. It's about learning to love your life, no matter the situations you may be in. I'm slowly coming to that part of my life. I haven't gotten there yet. I don't completely love my life or am totally satisfied. But I love the idea of coming to terms with yourself and your life. Shit happens but it all happens for a reason. There will always be someone out there who has it worse than you. But in contrast, there will always be someone who has it better. The goal is to come to terms with that and love what you have instead of lusting for something bigger or better. Nobody's life is perfect, but it's all about how you look at things. I've never been the optimistic type, but I'm really trying to see things in new ways to benefit my life and my attitude. The small changes add up over time. "For what's money without happiness? Or hard times wthout the people you love? Though I'm not sure what's 'bout to happen next, I asked for the strength from the Lord up above"