To Say I Love You

It's certainly been a while since I've updated. Life has been moving way too fast recently. My birthday is tomorrow and it's starting to really hit me how fast life is flying by. I'm reapplying to graduate schools and trying to keep my head above water with all my ventures. I have my grad school applications, one full time job, two part time jobs (soon to be three), studying for the GRE, keeping up with various things around the house, and attempting to maintain some semblance of a social life. I never really get a true day off where I don't have to do anything.

Today I had an actual day off and decided to go into the city with Seth. We went to a giant museum and spent hours walking around and looking at exhibits. Then he surprised me and took me to an insanely nice steakhouse, followed by going across town to his favorite bakery. It was a day off that was much needed, and welcomed. He insisted on holding my hand almost the entire day, and we spent our time laughing and talking. We also spent New Year's Eve together, and I slept over at his house. We stayed up until 3am watching movies, then another hour or so just laying in bed talking in the dark. We also spent the next day together as well. I was supposed to work, but our systems were down at the office so I got to rejoin him back in bed less than an hour after I had left. Being with him is like a breath of fresh air when I most need it. However, the odd part about all of it is that I'm not in love with him. Everything seems as if I should be, but I'm just not. It would greatly complicate things if that were to happen, but for now we're happy with what we are. We're together but separate, but still love each other just the same. There's no better feeling than having him kiss me on the head. He's such a tender man, and not a lot of people see that side of him. I feel very fortunate to know him in the capacity I do.

At my full time job, I got a raise. State minimum wage is increasing, but I'm also getting a company raise in addition to that. On one hand I was pretty shocked when my supervisor told me, but it was also well deserved given the efficiency of my work. A lot of effort goes into balancing my jobs, so to get a raise just goes to show that I'm learning to balance them well. Also, I got a promotion at the research lab where I work. I now oversee other research assistants and assign them things to do, as well as spot check their work to ensure accuracy. It's technically a management position, but I still do data entry and normal tasks around the lab which I very much enjoy. It's a nice start to my morning to settle in at my computer listening to a true crime video while sipping my iced coffee and nibbling at a bagel.

When it comes to my day-to-day life I feel like it moves pretty slow. Some weeks feel like they drag on forever. However, in the larger scope of things my life is moving incredibly fast. It's becoming hard for me to keep up at times. I've had several people (including doctors) tell me to stop working so much, otherwise I'll be burnt out by the time I'm 30. I feel as if I was burnt out a couple years ago at this point, so what's another day of pushing myself to the limit?