Friday, February 21, 2020
On-Brand
I'm really bad at this lately. Things have been just a pinch chaotic. 90% of my grad school applications are complete which is exciting. I also have a new job that I've officially started training for working as a research volunteer out of a major hospital. Once I get approved and get my own ID it'll feel different. I took someone else's when I went today and it was fine because I look like her (even though she's into her 30's) (I don't know if that's good or not) so i wasn't caught. But it was incredible what credentials can do and allow. We wandered freely behind the scenes of the doctor's areas and spoke with the nurses and doctor's like they were just normal people on the street. It's an odd social situation for me, but I loved it in a way. I ended up getting into a very detailed (and long) conversation with a high school student joining the study about neuroplasticity. It felt like exactly what I wanted to do. I want to roam the halls of the hospital and know people and have fun and be productive to society by conducting research. I want to help educate people and get them interested in the subject of psychology. At this point I think I'm just trying to let things happen. I need to loosen my grip a little in an attempt to save my sanity. I now work 4 jobs. My soul is getting tired again. I think the only way to make me feel less stressed would be to have my entrance letters to the programs I applied to. I don't know what I'll do if I get rejected for a 3rd time. My writing is all over the place tonight, just like my head. How "on brand" of me.
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