Gotta Go Fast

After my last post about my mom and I having a fight, we fought AGAIN. This time it just kinda pushed me too far. I calmly walked to my room, closed the door, then broke down. Bambi was at work so I had no one to talk to. I just cried. I didn't know what to do to stop the crying so I tried to find my knife. I went to open a drawer which has a big bowie knife in it, but the drawer was stuck. I kept pulling and wiggling it and crying and cursing and pleading for it to open so I could just cut already. After fighting with it and being reduced to a sniveling heap on the floor, I opened another drawer to see if maybe I had a spare. I did. I quickly opened it and pressed it against my wrist. It felt so good. So relaxing. I kept the blade close against my wrist until I calmed down and stopped crying. I gathered myself back together and got into bed. I just curled up and hoped for a night of restful sleep.
I woke up the next morning anticipating my adventure with Bambi. We met at a local McDonald's and went from there. We explored the abandoned buildings in great detail, but only from the outside. None of the doors were open (most were welded shut), and all of the windows were barred shut. We found a single window open, but it would be a tight squeeze, even for me. Despite not making it inside, I was still able to take so many amazing pictures and get glimpses inside this horrifying and glorious place. After hours of trekking and taking pictures, Bambi and I retired to a local diner. We ordered hot chocolate and warm food. We were just about frozen solid when we finally came indoors. Bambi and I talked and laughed and enjoyed ourselves. I told him more about the fights I had with my mom and he said to just ignore her. We paid, and headed home. He took a bus, and I walked. Apparently my mom had forgotten that I was going out with Bambi, and she was freaking out because I wasn't home when she returned from work. It was also my fault that she forgot. I should have left a note apparently. Silly me, thinking she would actually remember something I said.
Today, I had my writing final. After a wrestling match with MTA subways, I got to school on time and very grumpy. I did my final (writing a paragraph), then left. I headed to Queens to catch the concert going on tonight. Bambi was going to meet me in the area once he got off work and we were going to eat dinner. I decided to wait for him at a local Wendy's by the school. I waited for 3hrs. All alone. No headphones for music. My phone slowly dying. Barely enough money for food. So I just sat there and daydreamed and listened to other peoples' conversations. It was interesting, but boring after the first hour and a half. I didn't wanna go without Bambi, so I waited as long as I could. I texted him and told him to just meet me at the school. I walked to school with an almost dead battery. My friend gave me her charger (thank God), and I charged it a bit while waiting for Bambi. I was sipping on a hot chocolate while standing in the hallway of the school when someone walked by. It was Leo. He was getting a drink from the fountain. I glanced up, saw it was him, then quickly averted my eyes. I don't know whether he saw me or not. I went upstairs to talk to my friends a little before the concert and saw an old teacher of mine. We hugged and said our hellos. As we separated, Leo passed by once again carrying some bags. We didn't make eye contact. It was for the best. Soon after, Bambi came and we got our seats. Andrea, Bambi, and I sat next to each other and whispered comments throughout the performance. Overall, it wasn't bad. After the performance, Bambi and I cut out and got pizza. We ate, then his parents drove me home. We were both exhausted. He had come straight from work and still hadn't changed clothes. He had on a black tuxedo shirt with a black vest and slacks. I have to say, he looked very adorable and kinda sexy all dressed up like that. Not long after he got home, he fell asleep. It's kinda funny how much of a child he really is. He isn't used to actually working yet. He complains about being tired from work and needing days off after his shift so he can recover. I usually work Saturday and Sunday, then have school Monday - Friday. If only I could have the luxury of days off...