Chances Blown

After my blow up at Bambi, we quickly fixed it. I hate being so mad. I can't even remember my stream of thoughts when I get mad. I don't know what goes through my head. It's uncontrollable. I know I have anger problems, and it scares me when I get that intense. I was actually shaking and getting red. I felt hot and angry. Even just thinking about being that upset makes my heart race. Although I'm unsure as to why it's racing. Am I scared? Or am I excited to fight?
Anywho, on to today's topic. Leo. Kristen (practically my sister) is working with him on some kinda project. She saw the inside of his locker. It's filled with pictures of me. His laptop background? A big picture of me. Creepy? Yea. I think so. But Kristen told her friend, who told Bambi, who told me. I told Leo and questioned him on it. Before he responded to me, he messaged Kristen yelling at her. Kristen was shocked because it was so out of the blue. Bambi asked if I had told Leo that Kristen saw the photos. What am I going to say? I'm not supposed to be talking to Leo in the first place, then I tell him some thing, and he blabs it to Kristen and shakes everything up. I denied speaking to Leo at first, but then I admitted to yelling at him. It makes me so frustrated that I'm trying to at least lay low with Leo and I, but he keeps gigantic pictures of me EVERYWHERE for the world to see. How does he not see the creepiness factor going on? But I'm angry about that, and also the fact that I questioned him on it and went right to yelling at Kristen. He didn't think. He never does. Now that little circle of Kristen, her friend and Bambi all know that I spoke to Leo at least once. I hope all of this is making sense to you guys out there. It's a bit jumbled, but so are my thoughts. Leo said he fucked up, and went to apologize. He then said that he needed to go (probably for a BSA meeting or something). I told him to not bother coming back. He saw my message when he got back, and didn't respond. I've honestly had enough. I can't deal with him. I left him behind, and it felt so good. So free. But I also felt guilty. Not this time. He did this to himself. I thought all of the high school bullshit was in the past. I just want to live happily ever after with Bambi. Why can't I? I know Leo loves me. I know he cares immensely for me. I know he is borderline obsessive. I know. But I can't deal with him any longer. He needs to either find a girlfriend, or go away forever.
Do you guys remember Adri? She's like the perfect little mix between Bambi and I. She really is like our child. But I heard that Leo likes her, and she likes him. I know they want to go out on a date, but she isn't allowed alone with boys. I think Leo lied to me. I think they did sneak around and went on a date. I don't want Adri around him. He's just a weirdo obsessive creep. He'll probably only use her to get to me. Maybe I'm being paranoid, maybe I'm being selfish. I don't know. But I do know that Leo has blown all of his chances with me. Next time I see him face to face, he better run.