High and Dry

Yesterday's lunch with Andrea was fun. I missed her, and it was nice catching up. We spent a few hours trying on crazy high heels, cute dresses, and complaining about life. She really is my other half. I really do miss not seeing her every day like in high school. She was always my sidekick and partner in crime. We still see each other, but not nearly enough.
Today was an exciting day. Kevin and I were going to go out to a tattoo shop and get him some new tats. I would get one, but my dad would most certainly flip a shit. Kevin was supposed to be at my house at 1pm. I was dressed and ready to go on time, but he was late. I texted him around 2, with no response. I called at 3:30 with no answer. I called again at 4:15, and again no answer. I texted a final time around 4:30. I basically spent a whole day waiting for someone who stood me up. I have to say, it hurt. I was looking forward to hanging out with him. It's not like this was supposed to be a date, but I do very much enjoy his company. I didn't get a response from Kevin until 7pm. He had apparently woken up early to do errands, and then fallen back asleep when he got home. Ugh. I was (and still am) a little angry with him, but I shrugged it off. I don't want to look like the desperate loser I am who has no friends. He said he would make it up to me next time. We'll see how that goes.
The next fun topic is Bambi. I don't even know how to explain the situation. Out of no where, he sends me these pictures of a wall with holes in it, and then his bloodied fist. Awesome. I ask him why he did it, and he refused to answer. All he said was that he called his boss and she hung up on him. Of course the only reasonable response to this was to punch the wall multiple times. Apparently his parents didn't seem to mind the fact he pulverized a wall. Frankly, it's scary. I've seen him get infuriated before in person, and it's one of the scariest things I've ever seen. It just scares me that he lacks self-control to the point of taking his anger out in destructive ways. I know for certain he could take me if he wanted to, especially when he isn't thinking clearly after drinking a few too many. I don't know if I want to be in a relationship like that. Bambi is like a child who can't control his emotions and outbursts. I think he's still extremely immature and self-centered, and I don't want to be dealing with an emotionally unstable boyfriend. I don't know. I just wish he could be the old Bambi. Back when we first met, he was so sweet and timid. He was goofy and adored me more than anything. He still loves me, but I think in a more codependent way than a romantic way if that makes sense. Bambi needs someone to keep him grounded and to stop him from doing this shit. He hasn't had an episode of rage this bad in at least 6 months or so, so I thought maybe it had passed. I guess not. It's back to being a mommy instead of a girlfriend I suppose.