Thinking Out Loud

I've been seeing a new side of life lately. As my grades improve, so does my life in general. The progressing relationship with Josh confirms that my life is amazing. Even if my life doesn't follow the exact map I have laid out, it's ok. Why is it ok? Because I know Josh will always be by my side. Even though my life is still stressful at parts, it isn't uncertain. A year ago, I didn't know where my future would lead me, and if I'd like it. It's hard to put into words I suppose. Knowing Josh will be in my future relieves stress. I know I will always have an amazing man who loves me and cares about me no matter what. Our relationship is exactly the definition of one that will last. Josh does everything and anything for me, and I do what I can in return. My life went from having question marks and unknowns, to having periods and finite answers. I thrive on love. It motivates me and makes me feel that everything will work out in due time. The first 2 decades of my life had many ups and downs, but now entering my 21st year in a couple months, I'm confident. Even though I've gained a few pounds, I'm ok with it. I don't look perfect all the time (far from it), and I don't care. I don't apologize for my sense of humor or overly sarcastic tendencies. I've learned to love myself more because I saw someone else out there could love me just the way I was. Call us crazy, but Josh and I have been seriously talking about a wedding. My dress, venues, colors, everything. I even have a date picked out in my head. Something in me just knows he's the one. Every minute I spend with him just confirms that thought. God works in mysterious ways. I've been through hell and back to be standing where I am today. My past made me who and what I am right now, and for that I'm grateful. I'm stronger than I was a year ago today, and I sure as hell am happier.