Bob

Today I worked 7-12pm. Only a 5hr shift, not bad. It went kinda quick. Bob was a bitch. Bob is an old guy who works there almost every morning from like 5-11am. He's 76 I think. He's just very grumpy and has an "I'm better than you" attitude. He treats me like shit. I ask him one question and he flies off the handle and get pissed at me. I really hate him. Working with him sucks. He always complains that I know nothing and I'm useless. To be honest, it really hurts me. I never get any positive feedback from work. I always think I'm not good enough and everyone else is better than me. I've always had a self-confidence problem. When I was younger, maybe 7 or 8, I was molested. That's one of my deepest secrets. One of the local neighborhood kids touched me. He was a few years older than me. We moved away from that area about a year or so after it happened. I never said anything because I was scared. So ever since then, I've always had an inner struggle with my confidence. I showed signs of depression. I was brought to a therapist. Since around 6th or 7th grade, I've been annorexic. I don't eat much. I think I'm really fat, so I only eat one meal a day. I have a Monster in the morning with Bambi before school, skip lunch to go to the library and work, then eventually eat dinner around 7 or 7:30pm. I have an average BMI. I'm 5'2 1/2 and weigh 130lbs. I have a 34D chest size so that makes up a couple pounds I think. I just always see myself as inferior to everyone else. So hearing that shit at work really upsets me. I'm actually debating quitting my job. Sometimes, its just too much to handle. I'm constantly being bashed by Bob. I hate it. I hate myself already, I don't need him yelling at me and judging me. I make mistakes. I admit it. But I apologize, try to make it right, then move on. Everyone else there seems to get along with eachother. I feel like I'm usually the outcast. Well, that's enough pouring out of my soul for today. I suffer from depression and lingering annorexia. Woot. I don't work till noon tomorrow so I'll be taking full advantage of that. I'm gonna stay up and watch anime. Awesome.