So today I worked 7-12. Not a long shift but taxing nonetheless. I was up semi-late last night. Till midnight. I called Leo after I got home from the concert. We talked for a while about happy topics. The usual silliness. However, the conversation then got serious. He said he feels like he always gets second prize to Bambi. Bambi is my boyfriend, so that's the way it should be. But Leo thinks I use him. In a way, it seems I do. We have these secret intimate moments, then I need to hide him away so Bambi doesn't see. I sit on Leo's lap. I pinch his cheeks. I hug him. I tell him how much I love him. I shouldn't be doing that to a guy who isn't my boyfriend. Especially when I'm taken. I know Leo is in love with me. And frankly, I think I may be in love with him too. I'm willing to give him anything. That is, anything but a relationship. Bambi got to me first. I'm fully invested. I'm going to make this work. I promise. But am I being selfish for even talking to Leo? All I do is get closer to him. We can't be together. I make him love me more and more. We can't be together. We've tried not talking and going our seperate ways. That lasted for maybe a few days. Maybe. I need him. He needs me. I need Bambi. He needs me. What do I do?
So we continued to talk. He said he had something to tell me. He said he's been reading my blog. This blog was meant for me to have an outlet. Somewhere to vent. Maybe even get opinions from you viewers out there. I showed him a couple entries but that's it. Only the first two entries were shown to him. He googled it and found it I guess. He said he was able to learn more about me. Is this blog that informative? But anyway, I was somewhat hurt. I told him not to read this. This wasn't for him. This was for me. And Leo, if you're reading this, stop. Please.