I thought depression was supposed to make someone sleep a lot. Lately, I've been restless at night. I'm constantly waking up and rolling around. Now on a day off from work, I'm up around 8:30 in the morning for no reason. I can't get back to sleep no matter how hard I try. My cat is cuddled between the edge of the bed and my back, and I have my stuffed animals in my arms. It's fairly quiet and dark in my room, and I'm mostly comfortable under the covers. So why can't I sleep? I'm exhausted with too many thoughts I suppose. My mind is racing, my heart feels heavy, and my stomach feels like it's on fire. This isn't how I want to live. I knew I shouldn't put my happiness in other people, but it's hard not to do that when you're in love. It seems I always end up alone and isolated. Maybe that's a testament as to how the rest of my life will be. It's sad and beyond depressing, but if that's what is meant to be, I can't change that.
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