Tales of Times Past: Adrick/Jennifer

I wish I could have blogged this when I first woke up. I had a strange dream last night. It was vivid and felt so real. It was about Jennifer (I will give you a backstory of who she is after this tale). The dream began where I was at home. Someone rang the bell and it was Jennifer. I was confused, but greeted her. She said I looked cuter in person than in photos. We continued talking and I think she stayed at my house for a couple days. We grew to know each other and developed a friendship. I don't remember much detail, but I remember we got along well. My alarm went off and I was confused. I looked around for Jennifer, but couldn't find her. I remembered who I was, and realized it was a dream. I got ready for work (still dazed and confused from the dream), and began my day.

*Now for the backstory. This is going to take some time, so I'll type it all out here then do a recap at the end.*

Jennifer is the sister of an ex of mine. The ex's name is Adrick. Adrick and I met online in a chat room. I just used them to occupy myself, and I happened to find someone who was actually interesting. We talked for a couple hours on the anonymous chat site, then decided to exchange our Facebook info. Before we knew it, we were talking more and more. We were talking 24/7, and I began to like him a little more than I should. There was only one problem. Adrick lived in Ohio. I live in New York. When I met Adrick online, I was going out with a guy named Zack. Zack was abusive and didn't really care about me. After I wouldn't let him in my pants, he dumped me. Adrick was there by my side comforting me and telling me it would be ok. I told Adrick everything. My problems, my secrets, and anything that was on my mind. Eventually, I asked him out. I acting upon a crazy impulse and decided to do it. We got together, and were extremely happy together. Adrick had his own problems though. His older sister, Jennifer, was a severe anorexic who was in and out of the hospital. She is due to marry her fiancé soon, whom Adrick didn't like. Jennifer was actually on the show Say Yes to the Dress a few months ago. I've had a dream about her before, but that too was confusing. I'm unsure of what this one means either. She's pretty, but a bit mean at times. Maybe I think we're similar? Anyway, Adrick's parents were divorced. His step-mother was a bitch. He lived with his biological mom, who didn't have much money to spare, and his younger sister who was a bit of a brat as I recall. Adrick was very smart, and his grades were amazing. He has a high IQ and could do almost anything he wanted. He was going to Ohio University, but his grades plummeted due to depression and he was kicked out. I was helping him get back on his feet and continue on. We helped each other out, but our relationship ended badly. While in a relationship with Adrick, I started hanging out with Bambi. I fell for Bambi and chose to break it off with Adrick. I felt horrible about it, and he was devastated. He was filled with rage and hatred for me. He became suicidal and would send me pictures of him cutting. He even carved my name into his thigh. The last text message I got from him said he was going to jump in front of a truck. After that, I got no messages or replies. I didn't know whether he was still alive or not. It was maybe a year or so ago that I went to his FB page (after being blocked from it), and saw him being tagged in a status or a photo. I know he's alive, and that comforts me. But is he well? I often wonder how he's doing. Some days I just want to message him and see how he is. But I know I can't. It's the same with Leo. I want to fix what I did, but I can't. It sucks. We all make choices, and have to live with the consequences. The baggage of making someone harm themselves will always stay with me.

*RECAP*

• Adrick is my ex
• Jennifer is Adrick's older sister
• I've never met either one of them
• This isn't my first dream about Jennifer